live from the guillotine

2003-09-17T16:39:00.000-07:00

Call me Sybil

One of my many personalities decided to start a weblog at a different location because it has nifty features and is much easier to use than blogger. I liked it so much we've merged ourselves together right here!

Seriously, I'm moving to the new site tomorrow, so click the link, put it in your favorites, and I'll be posting live from the guillotine there from now on. See ya there! Also, let me know what you think about the new site.

BTW: For the 47 people searching google today looking for paomnnehil pweor of the hmuan mnid, click here!

Sadly for those of you still searching google for naked pictures of Arnold, I still don't have any.

2003-09-17T14:59:00.000-07:00

No Child Left Behind

NEA Proposes 'Virtually No Child Left Behind' Plan:

"The National Education Association (NEA) today proposed revisions to President Bush's 'No Child Left Behind' program.

The new plan, called 'Virtually No Child Left Behind,' guarantees that reading and math proficiency standards will be met by all children except those with...
-- mental disabilities,
-- low-income parents, "

Well, at least they've admitted it. Go read the whole thing!

2003-09-17T13:44:00.000-07:00

Alphecca's Weekly Check on the Bias

Jeff has the weekly check up:

"Yeah, so everyone else has hurricane Isabella on their minds. Not us! Around here we have nothing on our minds. Complete blanks! Okay, the reality is that at Alphecca, we concentrate on bias from the media regarding guns and gun-control and specifically the Yahoo Gun Debate Page. Until now, most of the stories and editorials linked to were biased in favor of the "anti-gun" position."

Go check it out. Looks like a good week for gun owners and even better news for those on the east coast. Isabel has been down-graded to a category 2.

2003-09-17T13:39:00.000-07:00

Quote for the Day

"When I was a boy of fourteen my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years." ~ Mark Twain

2003-09-17T13:27:00.000-07:00

Is Daddy Home?

Opinion Journal has an interesting article today about political virility:

"Many years ago Chris Matthews--now famous on TV--hit on an interesting formulation: He said the Democrats were the 'mommy party' and the Republicans the 'daddy party.' That is, the Democrats were 'nurturers,' concerned with health policy and day care. The Republicans were 'protectors,' taking care of national security and other manly matters. This notion is obviously galling to some. But Mr. Matthews was on to something, and we now find ourselves in a 'daddy party' time."

I've always referred to them fondly as "Jack-Booted Thugs" vs. "Sissies With Rickets".

2003-09-17T11:30:00.000-07:00

School Daze Update

While I am not a fan of public or private school, I am a huge fan of many hardworking, excellent teachers. I do realize that the vast majority of American children will continue to be educated in those venues. Our children deserve the best education in the world and we certainly pay a fortune toward that end. Yet we know that far too many lag behind a host of nations in critical areas. As a citizen it is my duty to inform myself about the real issues teachers are facing and the possible solutions.

The purpose for my school daze topic is two-fold. The first purpose is to allow my readers a view into a typical classroom and find out the true nature of teacher's problems and frustrations. My source is an excellent teacher who genuinely cares about her students and wants them to succeed. She makes them work hard and she has great success in raising the test scores at a low-income, disadvantaged elementary school. Amazingly, she must buy many of her own supplies. Where exactly are our education dollars going?

The second purpose is to foment discussion on these issues and questions. I welcome email and comments from anyone who can shed more light on the problems. In my opinion, the most obvious problems are:

1. Undisciplined, lazy children
2. Indulgent or uninvolved parents
3. Inability to immediately get rid of bad teachers
4. Money spent on wasteful bureaucracy instead of actual classrooms and teachers

Discuss among yourselves.

2003-09-16T16:30:00.000-07:00

Veritas Quote For The Day

"If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him." ~Mark Twain

2003-09-16T15:35:00.000-07:00

John Hawkins at Right Wing News has an Interview With Milton Friedman(Conservative News and Views):

Yesterday, I did a twenty minute interview by phone with Milton Friedman. Of course, Mr. Friedman has an INCREDIBLE resume. He won the 1976 Nobel Memorial Prize for economic science, won the "Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1988 and received the National Medal of Science the same year".

Including answers about taxes, trade agreements, the deficit, it's definitely informational reading. Read it all!

2003-09-16T11:01:00.000-07:00

And Clark Makes 10

Ex-Gen. Clark Decides to Join White House Race:

"Former NATO commander and political novice Wesley Clark has decided to join the 2004 White House race, making the retired four-star general the 10th Democratic presidential candidate, sources close to him said on Tuesday.

Clark, a former top Pentagon war planner who headed the 1999 NATO bombing campaign in Kosovo but is a newcomer to the battlefield of presidential politics, was to announce his decision in Little Rock, Arkansas on Wednesday, the sources said."

This should be interesting.

2003-09-16T06:26:00.000-07:00

Universal Health Care

Canadians are not happy with their health care system:

Some of the first patients to smoke Health Canada's government-approved marijuana say it's "disgusting" and want their money back.

"It's totally unsuitable for human consumption," said Jim Wakeford, 58, an AIDS patient in Gibsons, B.C. "It gave me a slight buzziness for about three to five minutes, and that was it. I got no other effect from it."

Barrie Dalley, a 52-year-old Toronto man who uses marijuana to combat the nausea associated with AIDS, said the Health Canada dope actually made him sick to his stomach.

Government inefficiency strikes again.

2003-09-16T06:02:00.000-07:00

Hurricane Isabel Weakens to Category 3

Hurricane Isabel Churns Toward East Coast::

"Hurricane Isabel churned across the Atlantic on its way to the U.S. East Coast on Tuesday, its 120 mph winds bringing dangerous surf to parts of the coastline as the storm headed toward North Carolina."

Hopefully she'll get weaker as she heads toward land.

2003-09-15T17:49:00.000-07:00

Being Polite in Today's World

I was reading a story the other day about enduring daily rudeness from others. Examples given ranged from the person who hops in the 10 item line at the grocery store with 15 items to people who stand in the middle of the sidewalk yacking while everyone else is forced to walk around them. Why don't we say anything? We roll our eyes, remember to tell our friend or spouse, but basically let the offender off without a word.

The point the author made was the rude behavior is never addressed because the people who are offended by it have been raised to be polite to others. Last week I sat seething in the parking lot exit while a girl leaned into a friend's car window and chatted away, oblivious to the world around her. Yet, it didn't cross my mind to roll down my window and comment on her incredibly rude and self-absorbed behavior. My mother raised me to be polite.

These rude people haven't been raised to be polite and they apparently don't have the information they need to be polite. At what point does the polite person decide that action should be taken? Is it right to point out insufferable rudeness in order to make society a better place? This is what I've been thinking about today.

I could have gotten out of my car and walked up to that girl and told her how rude and inconsiderate it was for her to stand there talking while others waited for her to finish her conversation. I'm still trying to decide if it would have been better or pointless for me to do that. Your thoughts?

2003-09-15T16:53:00.000-07:00

Quote for the Day

"I seldom said anything smart when I was a child. I tried once or twice, but it was not popular. ~ Mark Twain

2003-09-15T16:28:00.000-07:00

Via Email

Read this:

The paomnnehil pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to
a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer
in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the only iprmoetnt
tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it
wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos
not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a
wlohe. Amzanig huh?

I just noted that the first word made no sense and started reading. Like the email said, amazingly, I had no trouble. Then when I went back and looked, it looked like a foreign language or one of my essays without spell-check. Paomnnehil! (Thanks to Autumn for the tip.)

2003-09-15T15:06:00.000-07:00

Bush's Ruinous Tax Cuts Update

Economists predict strong growth in second half:

"The U.S. economy, after three years of lackluster growth, is poised to begin a sustained rebound that will start to cut the unemployment rate, the National Association for Business Economics (NABE) predicted Monday.

The group expects gross domestic product, the country's total output of goods and services, to grow at a 4.5% annual rate in the July-September quarter and a 4% rate in the October-December period. "

Also, check out the data and read the bottom line on rising national debt from EconoPundit:

"That's right, whenever someone tries to scare you with some kind of economic number, you've got to find some historical values to see if your interlocutor has a point. In this case, the answer is 'there's nothing to be afraid of.' "

He's got data, charts, graphs, and a full analysis. Read the whole article. I can think of 9 people off the top of my head who are not going to be thrilled about this news.

2003-09-15T14:58:00.000-07:00

Isabel Picks Up Steam

ScrappleFace: Isabel Declares Candidacy for Democrat Nomination:

Hurricane Isabel this morning declared her candidacy for the Democrat nomination for President of the United States. According to a CNN poll, Isabel's name recognition exceeds that of all nine existing candidates combined, plus Wesley Clark.

2003-09-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

Humor for the Day

"Sesame Street and Merrill Lynch teamed up today for a program called "Investing Pays Off." It’s to teach 3- to 5-year-olds how to manage money. And if it works on them, they’re going to try it on the Legislature in Sacramento.
The hot weather is back. Boy, was it hot today. It was so hot today, Gray Davis was giving illegal immigrants free air conditioners." ~ Jay Leno

2003-09-14T16:05:00.000-07:00

Quote For The Day

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. ~ Mark Twain

2003-09-14T14:45:00.000-07:00

It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Helicopter Mom

It seems I struck a cord. Doc Rock at WriteOutLoud: Helicopter Moms has her own story to tell:

Thank you, Mme. Lefarge, for expanding my vocabulary in a particularly helpful way. "Helicopter moms," she explains, are Mothers Who Hover, pathologically advocating for their children no matter whether los kiddos are in the wrong or in the right, hypervigilant against any slight or omission (always imaginary) or hint that their offspring is not an impeccably behaved genius and the Fairest (or Most Handsome) One of All. Mme. L's had a bellyful of these women, and so have I.

Go read her delightful tale.

2003-09-14T14:31:00.000-07:00

Public Service Announcement

For all of you arriving at my site after searching google for pictures of Arnold Schwarzenegger naked, I DON'T HAVE ANY!!! Go rent The Terminator already.

Thank you. You may return to your regularly scheduled programming.

2003-09-13T20:07:00.000-07:00

A Pox Upon 'Ya, Blue

Witches curse Swiss referee:

BUCHAREST (Reuters) - Romanian witches are cursing Swiss referee Urs Meier to turn him lame and make him lose his whistling power after their country's European Championship hopes were dashed against Denmark.

Romania, who needed a win in Copenhagen last Wednesday to ensure at least a playoff place for the finals in Portugal, conceded a goal in the fifth minute of injury time Meier added on at the end of the qualifier.

"Seven witches of the city of Craiova cursed Meier to lose his capacity to whistle, to be lame in his legs and feel pain in his soul," local media reported on Saturday.

I can understand the whistle and the pain in the soul, but hey, making him lame is going a bit too far. Perhaps he should just hobble a bit.

2003-09-13T19:52:00.000-07:00

The Selected, Not Elected $200 Bill

The Smoking Gun has this story and picture of funny money being passed around the state of North Carolina:

North Carolina cops are searching for a guy who successfully passed a $200 bill bearing George W. Bush's portrait and a drawing of the White House complete with lawn signs reading "We like ice cream" and "USA deserves a tax cut."

Run, don't walk to see the picture of this "bill". Bwahahaha. My favorite bit on the phony bill: The Right To Bear Arms. Hasn't that always been on our money along with Ronald Reagan's name?

2003-09-13T19:33:00.000-07:00

Look Up. Google Has My New Ads

Based on the findings of the crack research team at google.com, the ads placed on my blog that might bring hits for advertisers, cranks, and conspiracy theorists are:

Dean 2004:The original Dean for President playing cards. Unite behind Dean!

and

Did Bush Falsify WMD?:Send a free fax to Congress urging them to investigate now!

Yes indeed. My readers are sure to click those links, vote for Dean, and send Congress a fax about how Bush lied about WMD. What did I say??

2003-09-13T18:45:00.000-07:00

Vocabulary Word for the Day

helicopter mom - n. The mom that hovers over her child all the live long day, circling in order to swoop in to attack anything and everything that happens to her little darling as not, never, ever said darling's fault.

I know this woman. I've coached her kid. I've taught her kid. I don't care for her or her kid. I'd like to pinch both their heads off. May she be shot down in flames daily. May someone, anyone tell her that she and her little brat are insufferable and rational people run at the sight of them.

Sadly, it won't happen because I've noticed over the years that the vast majority of moms today are helicopter moms.

Do they have a local support group where they get together and assure themselves that they are doing the right thing? If they bring the brats to the meeting how do they sort out all the "not my child's fault" issues when the little fartlings react to one another?? (Thanks to my public school "SOURCE" for enlightening me on the labeling of the helicopter mom.)

2003-09-13T16:56:00.000-07:00

Message From Baker Company to USA

Getting the message out:

How are you all doing? The proud warriors of Baker Company wanted to do something to pay tribute to our fallen comrades. So since we are part of the only Marine Infantry Battalion left in Iraq the one way that we could think of doing that is by taking a picture of Baker Company saying the way we feel. It would be awesome if you could find a way to share this with our fellow countrymen. I was wondering if there was any way to get this into your papers to let the world know that "WE HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN" and are proud to serve our country."

Go check out the picture!(via Cold Fury)

2003-09-13T15:26:00.000-07:00

Are You a NeoCon?

I just took this quiz and it turns out I'm a:

Neoconservative

Neoconservatives…

1.Want the US to be the world's unchallenged superpower

2.Share unwavering support for Israel

3.Support American unilateral action

4.Support preemptive strikes to remove perceived threats to US security

5.Promote the development of an American empire

6.Equate American power with the potential for world peace

7.Seek to democratize the Arab world

8.Push regime change in states deemed threats to the US or its allies

Historical neoconservative: President Teddy Roosevelt

Modern neoconservative: President Ronald Reagan

I'll agree with 3, 4, 6,7, and 8, but not the rest. Please, "promote the development of an American empire"?? Put down the crack and back away slowly.

2003-09-13T13:35:00.000-07:00

Guillotine Update

I volunteered to teach a high school class on the Renaissance, Reformation, and the explorers over the next 6 weeks. Now I just have to find my notes and lesson plans. The most amusing and surprising thing about teaching this class last time was the boys. I had 5 boys and 4 girls. The boys literally dove under furniture to avoid looking at art pictures and videos containing nudity. They just had a fit. Ewwww! Yuck!!! Not the videos again?!?!? They'd cover their eyes, suddenly transformed into fainting Victorian maidens.

Then when the class was over they speculated that I'd take them to Italy for our end-of-the-year party! Excuse me?? Guys, I am not dragging you through the museums of Europe while you hold your hands over your eyes and become this summer's walking "Americans are Morons" Exhibit. Sorry.

For those of you who remember "Welcome Back Kotter", Willard's science teacher called to say that he's the class Horshack. He even makes the noises because he's convinced that she can't see his hand waving madly in front of her face.

Monday Viagra made the sobering decision to never talk to a pretty girl again. After too many crushing disappointments, it's better to just view them from afar. If they never open their mouths they can't demonstrate their complete lack of intelligence. When I tried to point out he was generalizing to an extreme degree, he said he'd been devastated too many times to have hope left alive. He had a blind double date Thursday. For his sake, I hope she was a complete dog.

Vision's picture was taken walking in the rain with friends. The picture was on the front page of the paper today. In an heartless twist, she'd been edited out. She's obviously inherited her mother's galling bad luck.

Viagra, Veritas, and Willard went out to fly kites on Thursday at the field beside the football stadium. The boys were out practicing and Viagra was talking to them because he played with them last year. One of the boys asked who the hot girl was flying kites? Viagra said, "Her name is NOBODY and don't you forget that!"

Last night we sat outside under the carport enjoying the evening while the boys tossed the football around. Veritas read aloud from "The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain" and much laughter ensued. I really like my life.

2003-09-13T13:05:00.000-07:00

Politicians

Michelle Malkin writes about our public servants on 9/11:

They'll hold hands, light candles, and pass around a plateful of platitudes: "Never forget," they'll intone. "Let's roll," they'll thunder. "God bless America," they'll warble in perfect harmony.

They'll assure us that they are committed to fighting terror and securing our borders and doing whatever it takes to protect the homeland from another horrific mass murder at the hands of freedom-hating fanatics. And then?

And then, from Washington State to Washington, D.C., they'll go back to work, roll up their sleeves, and spit on the graves of the 9/11 dead.

Your pious city councilwoman will return to the office to draft a resolution condemning the common-sense detention and deportation of Middle Eastern illegal aliens suspected of terrorism.

Your politically correct police chief will refuse to cooperate with federal authorities in criminal investigations of illegal visa overstayers and border-crossers and ship-jumpers.

Your pandering mayor will stealthily renew his policy of preventing city employees from reporting illegal aliens.

Read the whole thing!

2003-09-13T10:55:00.000-07:00

Right We Are! - a conservative, pro-US, Republican blog by two chicks on the Right side! has this quote up today:

"Al Jazeera aired new footage of Osama bin Laden ... It's the usual stuff. Called Bush evil, called him the Great Satan, called him a warmonger. The same stuff we heard last night at the Democratic presidential debate. -- Jay Leno "

2003-09-13T08:12:00.000-07:00

Winning in Iraq

This story on troops stationed in Mosul had a very encouraging bit of information:

"We are in a race to win over the people. What have you and your element done today to contribute to victory?" reads a note posted at their base inside one of Saddam's former palace.

Obviously the soldiers understand their mission.

2003-09-13T07:44:00.000-07:00

Line Up Please

Arafat Tells Supporters They Will Go to Jerusalem as Martyrs:

"Arafat spoke one day after Israeli leaders announced they had decided to 'remove' Arafat whenever they choose. The vague wording left room for several options: deporting Arafat, capturing him or killing him.

'To Jerusalem we are going as martyrs in the millions,' Arafat told the crowd."

We?? I'll bet Arafat is right at the front of the martyr line. Not.

Update: Perhaps he is volunteering after all. Arafat would not survive expulsion attempt:

" Lead Palestinian negotiator Saeb Erakat on Friday said he believes Yasser Arafat would not survive any Israeli attempt to remove him from his compound in Ramallah where he is confined.

'I am sure, if they attempt this, the men will defend him, there will be a shootout and in the end they will end up killing him,' Erakat told CNN in a phone interview.

Erakat, who had just returned from a meeting at Arafat's compound, said the Palestinian leader said 'he will not accept to be deported and he will not accept to be arrested.' "

Stick to your guns, Yasser. I think we can all appreciate a principled, dead terrorist.

2003-09-13T06:37:00.000-07:00

School Daze: Week 3

I had 3 weeks of emails before I started this feature, so here's another update. This is a weekly feature from a source in the public schools who doesn't mince words and keeps me informed about what's going on at the local P.S. 139:

Remember my mentioning walking into a first grade classroom last year during "reading" time. Children were crawling on the floor, talking, painting their nails, and doing anything but reading. That was my classroom today. During AR (silent) reading time, I was having flashbacks of walking into that first grade classroom. As we were lining up for lunch right, after that, and I was chewing them out, we walked out of the classroom and a parent was outside my door waiting to take her darling to lunch. Upon returning from lunch we practiced "silent" reading.

In addition to crawling & painting of nails, I have several children that STILL believe they can "out stubborn me." Need I say more.

I have the group that believe that when I say "please quit talking" I am talking to everyone but them. They are the special people that do not have to follow the rules. During recess today, they were allowed to visit and talk about anything they wanted while the other children swang, ran, and did whatever was safe for them to do on the playground.

I have a noise maker. He makes noise all the time. He is sitting by himself, but he still makes noise. We were trying to start language but he was still making noise. I bent down into his face and softly said, "I want you to practice not making noise all the time." He looked me in the eye and never stopped. I repeated softly, "I want you to practice not making noise all the time." Yes, you are right, he looked me in the eye and never stopped. At that point I lost my mind. I slammed my hand on his desk and screamed, "I said to STOP!!!!" He did stop, but he was the only one in the class that did not have their chins on their toes and their eyes popping out of their heads. The teacher next door is one up on me. She threw a workbook at the wall yesterday. She had the same results with the chins & eyes.

Next is my most special stubborn child. He rates right up there (or maybe above) with my family. I will not give in to his stubbornness. (does this surprise you?) Instead of picking my battles, I must pick my punishments for his crimes or I would be punishing all day. Nothing he does is all that bad, just defiant. This week he has been walking very slowly in baby steps like a penguin. I also yelled at him. At recess he was allowed to walk in slow baby penguin steps back and forth between two trees. Mrs. George came out and laughed. Who's is he? I proudly said, "mine". She wished me good luck. She had him in kindergarten.

At the end of my marvelous day ( that is our vocabulary word for the week), I told my marvelous son about my day.

This is what he said:
You are going to be one of those teachers kids talk about for years. "Remember Mrs. Source? Boy was she mean. Do you remember when she yelled at me and slammed her hand on my desk." "Yes, I remember her. She is the teacher that made me walk back and forth between the trees."

On a lighter note, the teacher next door actually has the worst student. Wednesday she sent a child to the office and on the way out the door he turned around, looked her in the eye and said "F--- You." He was in ISS yesterday. Today he told her, "When I grow up I want to be a police man. That way I can shoot people in the head."

The joys of teaching in public school.

2003-09-13T06:28:00.000-07:00

School Daze: Week 2

This is a weekly feature from a source in the public schools who doesn't mince words and keeps me informed about what's going on at the local P.S. 139:

Well, we spent the last two days of the week going to the bathroom. That is all they wanted to do. Go to the bathroom instead of work. Go to the bathroom while I was trying to teach. Sooooo when one person goes, we all go. Sit in the hall and go two at a time. One boy & one girl. After returning to the class room, we wrote down how many minutes we spent doing this. The first day it was 55. The next was a little faster. The tragic thing was I moved recess to the end of the day and said "we will go if we get everything done." Guess what. We did not have time either day. Needless to say by the end of the day Friday they were beginning to get tired of it.

Next I have to cook up a scheme to get them to shut their little mouths while I'm trying to teach.

2003-09-11T10:29:00.000-07:00

More on 9/11

Jeff Jarvis started his weblog after witnessing the first tower collapse:

"Yes, I am blessed to be alive.

I was a block away from the World Trade Center, at Broadway and Liberty Street, when the first of the two towers collapsed Tuesday morning. Completely engulfed in its debris, I joined a mob running away, screaming, unable to see, unable to breathe anything but the black cloud."

Read the rest of his amazing story that day. Today, he's blogging about the events from ground zero. Very moving.

Update:Winds of Change has a ton of links to articles, pictures, and analysis from all over the web.

2003-09-11T10:17:00.000-07:00

Seen and Heard

I caught the end of a CNN segment this morning with Wolf Blitzer interviewing former New York mayor Ed Koch. Wolf almost fell out of his chair when Koch announced that he was voting for Bush next year and that Bush was doing a good job with the war on terror. (I'm paraphrasing, forgive me) Wolf blinked and said, no matter which of the 9 democrat candidates wins the nomination??? Koch laughed and said Dean was McGovern II. Then Wolf asks him what about Joe Lieberman? Koch said he already told Lieberman he would lose, to go back to the Senate, and that Koch would be voting for Bush. Very amusing couple of minutes.

2003-09-10T13:15:00.000-07:00

Remembering 9/11

Here is very moving video America Attacked 9/11.

Voices: Stories From 9/11 And Beyond is a site that has many contributors telling about their personal experiences on 9/11. Never Forget.

Update: There are many, many articles and first person accounts at Rantburg for those interested in reading more commentary from 9/11/01.

2003-09-10T11:04:00.000-07:00

MUST READ

If you don't read anything else today, please read this amazing story about Rick Rescorla, an American hero.

2003-09-10T10:48:00.000-07:00

Why I Homeschool - Part II

Report says schools are unfair to America:

"The nation's schools are telling an unbalanced story of their own country, offering students plenty about America's failings but not enough about its values and freedoms, says a report drawing support across the ideological spectrum.

Without a change of approach, schools will continue to turn out large numbers of students who are disengaged in society and unappreciative of democracy, the report contends."

I saw this at Joshua Claybourn's Domain.

2003-09-10T09:57:00.000-07:00

News from Iraq

A poll taken in Iraq sheds light on what the Iraqis really think:

Conducted in August, our survey was necessarily limited in scope, but it reflects a nationally representative sample of Iraqi views, as captured in four disparate cities: Basra (Iraq's second largest, home to 1.7 million people, in the far south), Mosul (third largest, far north), Kirkuk (Kurdish-influenced oil city, fourth largest) and Ramadi (a resistance hotbed in the Sunni triangle). The results show that the Iraqi public is more sensible, stable and moderate than commonly portrayed, and that Iraq is not so fanatical, or resentful of the U.S., after all.

After listening to the doom and gloom reporting from the media, this poll will come as a surprise to some. Essential reading!

2003-09-10T07:28:00.000-07:00

Children In Failing DC Schools Win!

D.C. School Voucher Bill Passes in House by 1 Vote:

"The House of Representatives approved the nation's first federally funded voucher program by a single vote last night, sending the Senate a plan that would provide $10 million in private school tuition grants to at least 1,300 D.C. children next year."

Update:Rod Paige on D.C. School Choice:

"Despite strong backing from within the D.C. community, opponents of this provision still want to lock the District's poorest children into a school system that all too often robs them of a future. I find their opposition perplexing — and troubling.

This important issue — choice — really boils down to two questions. One, will it help our schools?; and two, is it the right thing to do? The answer to both questions is an overwhelming "yes."

2003-09-10T06:15:00.000-07:00

Why I Homeschool - Part I

Conservatively, there are probably 1,000,000 reasons I homeschool my kids. By calling this "Part I", I can bring it up anytime something occurs to me.

Gran introduced me to a woman who homeschooled when Valentine and Viagra were 4 and 3. After talking to her, I decided to give it a try and taught Valentine kindergarten. The reason I did is I hated school and I didn't want Valentine there.

Anyone who believes that children are born perfect and good at heart until we adults screw them up has obviously forgotten the little monsters on the playground. Frankenstein and the little Igors in Frank's pack o' ghouls were capable of all manner of casual cruelty. I wasn't much for slinking away, so usually I received second and third helpings of deliberate nastiness. That's because Frank and the Igors were used to dishing it out. Handing it back to them was the equivalent of waving a red flag in front of a bull.

I remember the exact moment I finally shut them down in 6th grade. Their fearless, Frankenstein leader decided it would be hilarious for the Igors to smear dog poop in my hair during recess. While they all stood there giggling, I walked over to ole Frank and punched her out. After that, physically at least, they left me alone.

Now I included all of that to make a point. I didn't want Valentine anywhere near that pack of playground ghouls. I didn't want her to be a target. That is the main reason we homeschooled the first year.

In my experience, girls are much more nasty, petty, and cruel than boys. Nothing I've seen while raising 3 girls and 2 boys has caused me to change that opinion.

2003-09-09T15:22:00.000-07:00

Kid Quotes

Veritas loves homemade cinnamon rolls. One morning when she was about 4 she was sitting at the kitchen table eyeballing the pan of rolls yet again after inhaling at least a half dozen. I told her she couldn't possibly eat another one without getting sick. She thought for a minute, smiled like an angel, and said, "Well, Jesus is in my heart and he's still hungry!"

2003-09-09T15:07:00.000-07:00

Blog of Interest

I've been meaning to mention this blog for a few weeks. baldilocks is written by an articulate and entertaining veteran currently living in California. Isn't that an interesting place right now. Anyway, I could completely relate to this article Representative of Some:

Once, in a conversation on LGF, one of the site's frequent contributors, who happens to be Jewish, mentioned a familiar phenomenon. She said that when she hears a news report of a human misbehavior, she always hopes that said human isn't Jewish. Well, guess what? Every single time that some nitwit kills a bunch of people, rapes anyone, or just generally screws up, nearly every black person I know will say to self: "Please don't let that fool be black." (Too often, our hopes are in vain.)

All I need do is substitute black with southerner or Christian and all the generalizations and stereotypes come flooding in. That would be a great blog topic heading to alert readers to idiots who cause the rest of us to look bad.

To bad they executed Paul Hill before I had this great idea. I could have announced the good news with Please Don't Let That Fool Be A Christian.

2003-09-08T19:48:00.000-07:00

The Daddy Tax

Don't miss Glenn Sacks:The Price of Fatherhood--a Father's Reply to Ann Crittenden's 'Mothers Manifesto':

Ann Crittenden's popular The Price of Motherhood: Why Motherhood is the Most Important--And Least Valued--Job in America, released in paperback this week, has become the first feminist classic of the new millennium. Crittenden's 'mothers' manifesto' is an expose of the so-called 'mommy tax,' which can include reduced job opportunities and salary for mothers, as well as a lack of appreciation, often from working women themselves.

However, if there is a woman paying the 'mommy tax' by sacrificing her earning power to be at home full-time or part-time, there has to be a man in the household supporting the family and, by so doing, paying the 'daddy tax.' "

I remember my daddy working in the oilfields in New Mexico to support our family when times got hard. I missed him.

2003-09-08T19:07:00.000-07:00

Google Search

Leading folks to my site this week were the searches penned by these fine folk:

how to talk to a live person at dell
"marion the librarian" "action figure"
used mechanical guillotine in texas
nazi guillotine
goldilocks critcal
high+heels+guillotine
"mood anklet"
what can be squirted at a dog to protect the person
jeddah find ladies

Am I diverse or what?? I can't imagine any one of these folks were happy with the content, and for the record, the only thing I can think of to squirt at a dog to protect a person is an shotgun. However, in the interest of giving good advice, squeeze, don't squirt, is much better in the results department.

2003-09-08T18:14:00.000-07:00

And now, a serious review of Bush's speech: HobbsOnline

1. Iraq has become flypaper for terrorists, and has deliberately been made the main front in the war against terrorism. Bush:
"Two years ago, I told the Congress and the country that the war on terror would be a lengthy war, a different kind of war, fought on many fronts in many places. Iraq is now the central front."
As they say read it all. (via Donald Sensing who has several good posts up this week. Go read him too.)

2003-09-08T17:40:00.000-07:00

Michael Williams at Master of None has an article entitled "Christianity and Patriotism":

Should churches be patriotic? I definitely don't think that a church should take a partisan political position, endorse candidates, or be involved in non-relevant issue advocacy, but does standard run-of-the-mill patriotism have any place at church?

I agree with his sentiments. This Sunday our church saluted the public servants of our community. We do this every year around Labor Day and we don't talk about political parties. Everyone who serves our community is invited. We thanked the mayor, a local judge, the sheriff, our armed forces, our police and sheriff's departments, EMS folk, fire fighters, teachers, doctors, nurses, prison ministries, and clergy for their service. We prayed for them and feed them a huge BBQ spread as a way of saying thanks.

I think this is the right balance for the church. While the minister may preach particular doctrine to the church body, it is up to the individual to decide how convictions on Biblical matters translate into political beliefs or actions.

This doesn't mean that I don't strongly believe that Christians, as a matter of conviction based on Biblical doctrine, should not lean toward Republicans. I do. However, God and his message to all of us, transcends politics. That should always preclude Christians embracing a certain party or candidate without frank criticism. See Jimmy Carter and George Bush.

2003-09-08T17:20:00.000-07:00

Exit Strategy in Iraq

Every time someone asks about our exit strategy, I find myself hoping Bush says, "After checking with Priceline.com, we've booked tickets out of Baghdad International for the entire remaining force on November 10, 2008 at 7:16 a.m. Saved a bundle for DoD. Next question?"

2003-09-08T12:22:00.000-07:00

Can Ya Hear Me Now?

al Qaeda group vowed attacks on Americans:

"Our highest aim is to fight the Americans and kill them everywhere on earth and drive them out of Palestine, the Arabian peninsula and Iraq."

2003-09-08T11:07:00.000-07:00

Very good article, The Iraq Effect by Amir Taheri, an Iraqi who was in the US before the war:

"Iraq is the only Arab country today where all political parties, from communist to conservative, operate freely. Visitors will be impressed by the openness of the political debate there, something not found anywhere else in the Arab world. Also, for the first time, Iraq has no political prisoners.

Almost 150 newspapers and magazine are now published there, offering a diversity not found in any other Arab country. One theme of these new publications is the need for democratization in the Arab world. This may be putting the cart before the horse. What Arabs, and Muslims in general, most urgently need is basic freedom, without which democracy cannot be built.

The impact of Iraq's liberation is already felt throughout the region. "

The dictators in the region are in trouble. What our news oganizations aren't telling us is that the Iraqi newpapers, including the organ of the Iraqi communist party, are far more critical of Arab news organizations than of Americans.

2003-09-08T10:10:00.000-07:00

Monday Humor

Question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun and what kind of message does this send to society and my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.

Conservative Answer:

BANG!

Texan's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of reloading).
Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

(Thanks to Uncle Coach for the joke.)

2003-09-07T18:22:00.000-07:00

First impression of the President's speech totally off the cuff. Americans are so stupid or just way too busy watching "Girls Gone Wild" that they allow network news to blow their collective skirts up and respond accordingly. (If they even watched that much!) Hence, Bush has to come back once again and outline, like Ned in the 1st reader, why we are fighting these lunatics and why it's important to our survival. See terrorists blow up buildings? See terrorists cheer. See American military? See terrorists run. See terrorists die. Terrorists plotting in caves. Look, Jill, look. Bombs raining down on terrorists heads. Look, Jack, look. Spot pees on leg of Osama. Run, terrorists, run to Iraq.

The fact that this needs to be explained again, not only to the doofus public but to CNN, is ridiculous. See Judy and Aaron blather from the relative safety of the newsroom because Bush covered their fannies. See Paula talk to Sen. Carl Levin with straight face as Levin blames budget shortages and need to go to U.N. on the tax cuts. See more buildings fall down if we listen to Judy, Paula, and Aaron.

Hey everyone in the country with ADD, the terrorists are still out there. They want to kill you. Can you say "dead"??? I knew you could. The U.N. doesn't have the troops to save you even if they had the will. They don't. See the U.N. shoulder the responsibility and step up. See George laugh. See your granny laugh. Look, Jane, look. It's just the French and Germans. Laugh, Spot, laugh. Read history, Jane, read history.

Would you like them to be in New York or LA, or would you rather we fight them in another country where your child, mom, cousin, grandpa does not currently live? Oh wait, that is WAY too complicated for the public. Look, Jack, look. See your city in flames. Sad Jane, home blown up. Here, Spot, here. Fetch terrorists to Iraq. See terrorists fetch up. See Iraqis turn in terrorists. Look, Salam, look. Nice country, no terrorists.

Okay, I'm irritated. I'll make a more coherent comment tomorrow. It just frosts me that Bush has to address the nation about something this simple. Please. Here's your sign!! See Bush run. Run, Bush, run. Idiots.

2003-09-07T15:35:00.000-07:00

Bush's Poll Slide

Here are some of the reasons I think Bush is shrinking in the polls:

Item 1:Judicial Nominees:

i suppose that, technically, what we witnessed in the case of poor miguel estrada was a filibuster--but only technically. where were the cots? the chinese take-out? the hours-on-end readings from the phone book? what we got was a twenty-first century americanized version of the filibuster, where occasionally mentioning one's opposition to a certain judicial nominee over the course of a few months was substituted for a grueling endurance race between two genuinely passionate contenders.

Conservatives are not happy about this whipped puppy behavior from Bush that only encourages the liberals to up the ante next time and let's the spineless Senate off the hook.

Item 2: Fiscal Irresponsibility:

In a post below I briefly mention, yet again, the out-of-control liberal fiscal tactics of the Bush administration. The assault on conservative fiscal principles is so egregious that I wanted to take the opportunity to comprehensively lay out conservative grievances with the President.

Also stir into this mix his abdication of gun owners rights in not re-visiting the asinine Brady Bill. Conservatives are not happy.

I tried in vain to point out to folks during the 2000 election primaries that Bush was not a conservative. He's a pro-life Jimmy Carter who served in the military and hence understands the terrorist threat. The only reason I'm voting for the man next year is that he's serious about the war on terror and the thought of a liberal in charge literally chills the blood. Otherwise, he'd be toast in my book.

2003-09-07T15:11:00.000-07:00

Football Update

The mighty Titans easily won their opener Saturday against the Texans, scoring 6 times. Willard ran in three himself, putting on a burst of speed that had the Guillotines on the sidelines wondering where on earth he'd inherited that particular trait. Watching Mr. G and Viagra run is something akin to watching "Chariots of Fire". Not the track and field events, the slow motion shot down the beach in which each step takes five heartbeats, chchchchch.

Needless to say, my speed has been largely un-remarked upon because no one in living memory has ever seen me break out of an amble.

2003-09-07T14:55:00.000-07:00

Could Ya Pick Up Some Milk?

I have a running grocery list in the kitchen and ideally, the children note things that have been used up or are needed during the week. I glanced at it just now and noted the following:

toothbrush
cat food
milk
world peace

Oh those clever guillotine children.

2003-09-05T21:43:00.000-07:00

New Feature

I'm working with a "source" who teaches 2nd grade to bring all the news about public school to this site once a week. My source is a public school teacher who will share the reasons that she feels children aren't learning things properly. Here's a taste of week 1 at the local PS139:

School is okay. I think that tomorrow is the day I plan to turn into a bitch. My class thinks they are in charge & that they come to school to socialize. At the end of the year last year I walked into one first grade classroom. They were listening to a story on a tape & "following along in the book." There were two kids crawling on the floor, kids talking, kids drawing, & one even painting her fingernails. I have seven of those in my class this year.
The ones from the other classrooms are not much better.
The third grade teachers said their kids are really well behaved. Of course they are, they had my friend & I last year. I want to slap them. They were the kids from hell at the beginning of last year. They owe us a case of beer or something.
My friend's door says "Another Enchanting Year". She informed me yesterday she was changing it to "Another Shitty Year".
This is my grip day.

Mr. and Mrs. America, your kids are generally not well-behaved and the only persons unaware of this fact are you, the clueless parents.

2003-09-05T09:02:00.000-07:00

Thought for the Day

You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.

2003-09-05T07:54:00.000-07:00

The Good 'Ole Days

Germany plays ostrich during the war on terrorism and doesn't much like America. According to this article, deep in their hearts some of them are just longing for the good ole days:

"A third of people in eastern Germany regret that so much of daily life under their former communist regime has all but disappeared since the country was reunified, according to a survey. The poll found that a wave of nostalgia for the old days, highlighted by a series of recent films and television shows, is based on some reality."

Remember the smell of oppression in the morning?

As the phenomenon grows, so does the debate as to whether it is appropriate to be sentimental about life under a regime which shot those who tried to escape its clutches, and persecuted those who disagreed with its ideology.

Sorry, I'm just at a loss for words. I lived in fear of persecution or death, but _________________ makes me remember it all fondly. Fill in the blank yourself because the only word I can think of starts with in and ends in sanity.

2003-09-04T20:17:00.000-07:00

MaMa's Surprise

I thought the paper came out on Tuesday, but it comes out on Thursday. I've been waiting to see if she enjoyed it all week! I'll let gran take it from here:

Mom always looks at the paper from the back and usually the obits first....I happen to be there and I kept watching her to see when she would actually see the full page spread....then she said "Oh my gosh....where did you get that picture?" I told my sister that she would say something about the picture first....she is much prettier than her pictures. Anyway, she said she was looking across the page at the obits and looked across to her picture...My husband always ask she and Daddy why they read the obits first and they said "To see if we're there." Ha. Anyway, I think for a minute she thought she was...but she just laughed and said, "There is no telling how much that cost."

True woman of the depression, but still at 94, unhappy with the picture. I can relate, MaMa!

My cousin gave a moving eulogy for my PaPa's funeral, but I decided that I'd like MaMa to read it herself. Don't wait to tell people how much you love and respect them. Time's short.

2003-09-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

Lots of interesting reading and tons of links at The Command Post - Dan's Iraq Briefing: Sept 4/03. Go have a look.

2003-09-04T09:01:00.000-07:00

More quagmire talk this time from Ann Coulter:

President Lyndon Johnson's war on poverty turned out to be a bigger quagmire than Vietnam. Would that the Democrats would give the war in Iraq as much time to succeed as they are willing to give the "War on Poverty," now entering its 40th year.

Perhaps we should bring the U.N. in on this one.

2003-09-04T07:45:00.000-07:00

Jed Babbin on Iraq in National Review Online votes no over the new U.N. talks:

In Tuesday's Wall Street Journal, Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz confirmed that, "Among the hundreds of enemy that we have captured in the last months are more than 200 foreign terrorists who came to Iraq to kill Americans." Wolfowitz understands what Powell and Armitage don't: Iraq is now the central battle in the war against terrorism, and to give control of Iraq to the U.N. will result in our defeat in Iraq because the U.N. is not committed to the defeat of terrorism. Many terrorist states — Iran, Syria, Libya, and North Korea, among others — are members in good standing. They and their sympathizers are able to control U.N. action.

I am still wondering why we are trying to get U.N. support or approval. If we get it, we lose because we'll have to let them take over. If we don't get it, we've accomplished nothing more than draw negative attention to the occupation.

Update:Opinion Journal editoral disagrees:

This is not of course how Mr. Bush is portraying the move. White House spokesman Scott McClellan yesterday said that some countries, such as India, need a U.N. imprimatur before they dispatch troops to Iraq. Mr. Bush wants to provide that fig leaf--our words, not Mr. McClellan's--but the current coalition will retain civilian and military control in Baghdad.
If this is how it all works out, the inevitable U.N. wrangling may well be worth it. America's 140,000 troops in Iraq are clearly doing jobs of police work and guard duty that they weren't trained for and that leave them vulnerable to attack. With their discipline, firepower and mobility, they would be better deployed pursuing Saddam and his Baath Party remnants.

2003-09-04T06:43:00.000-07:00

Thought For the Day

You read about all these terrorists -- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.

(Thanks to gran via email list of jokes)

2003-09-03T17:58:00.000-07:00

Must Read

Bill Steigerwald has an article on John Taylor Gatto and his views on public school:

"For instance, he says, 'School trains children to be employees and consumers,' so 'teach your own to be leaders and adventurers.' And 'School trains children to obey reflexively; teach your own to think critically and independently.'

Based on a long life and 30 years' teaching in New York City's best and worst public schools, Gatto thinks kids can accomplish almost anything if given the chance, and he believes 'genius is common as dirt.' "

Viagra and I read the Harpers article earlier in the week and have been discussing it ever since. This semester of college has been an eye-opening experience and he's starting to realize exactly how much he'd like to thank me. Excellent. Now if he'll only follow up the promise to get rich and buy me the 'vette.

2003-09-03T17:25:00.000-07:00

How Rich Are You?

Global Rich List will allow you to calculate your wealth in proportion to the rest of the globe. Amazingly, I'm one of the wealthiest. How are you doing?

2003-09-03T16:58:00.000-07:00

More Media Distortion on Iraq

This is facinating and written by a former peace protester now back in Iraq. Commentary: Letter from Baghdad:

"I have been shocked at the difference between the Baghdad I found on my return and all the bad news from the city. Despite the recent bombings, Baghdad looks dramatically different. The stores are full of supplies. The streets are crowded with people and cars. The buses are working and police are on the streets, directing traffic."

As they say, read the whole thing.

2003-09-03T16:45:00.000-07:00

Looks like we're going back to the U.N. asking for help. ScrappleFace: U.N. Troops to Lead 'Operation Haughty Weasel' :

"The plan, dubbed Operation Haughty Weasel, will use U.N. troops to guard important facilities, and to win the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people."

Seriously, Winds of Change has some reasons why it's a bad idea:

First, and foremost, I'm unhappy because I think that the U.N. as presently constituted is damn unlikely to be a positive force in Iraq. The forces within Germany and France that traded oil for weapons with Saddam will see this as a way to avoid the scrutiny they deserve, and the dysfunctional U.N. will itself see this as a shot in the arm, keeping it from going through the changes it needs to become a truly effective and legitimate international organization, as opposed to what it is...a corrupt debating club, that is used to provide diplomatic cover for oligarchs, kleptocrats, and the corporate and political bureaucrats who serve them.

Exactly.

2003-09-03T16:41:00.000-07:00

Sound of Silence

I added this comment feature and so far those who wanted it back have commented exactly once each. Come on in, the water's fine!

2003-09-03T16:36:00.000-07:00

New Google Ads

Google has now changed the ads it places on my site from news of Iraqi sites to Smokydiva's, Long Dress Slip, and Turquoise Necklaces. The marketing of MaMa's dress-up box. Is this a diverse site or what?

2003-09-03T16:19:00.000-07:00

Women in the Military Debate

Front Page Magazine has an interesting round table discussion with a military historian, a female officer, and two others.

Is it a good idea for us to put our women in combat? What did the recent experience in Iraq teach us on this score? Isn't the idea of endangering the female's body, with its gift to procreate, an obscene act? And in any case, aren't women clearly just unable to perform as well as men physically? Or are these notions just archaic beliefs that have no place in our modern society? After all, if some women are suited for combat and want to be in combat to defend our nation, shouldn't they be free to do so?

What do you think??

2003-09-03T15:47:00.000-07:00

Best of the Web Today is a humorous read from start to finish. Go check it out!

2003-09-02T18:00:00.000-07:00

Nothing to See Folks, Move Along

Mom and I exchanged emails and phone calls over MaMa's birthday surprise. My sister, retaining a gigantic grudge over the peepee dress, edited my article before it went to press. I requested a copy before publication, but said copy has not arrived in the In-Box. That fact alone bodes ill since my sister, Henny, has an editor's streak a mile wide and also inherited MaMa's dry, sly wit.

Mr. G ordered a boat. We'll be skiing in October, but that's okay because I've heard lowering the body temperature also burns calories, so this can only enhance my diet plan. I'll be a size 5 by December or dead from exposure. On the plus side, I'll look thin, albeit blue, at the open casket funeral.

School started today and it was a nightmare. The printer cartridge died in the middle of copying timelines, the VCR ate my tape on Christopher Columbus, and we had to be at science and Spanish classes at 11. Valentine called from college to report her dog ate her Biology notes. Viagra was astonished that today's history class shut down when no one understood the concept of inflation.

On the plus side we labeled the continents, traced the spice trade on the world map, and grasp why Native Americans were mistakenly called Indians. Willard and Vision are in the junior high Life Science class with Mrs. Frizzle. I wasn't too worried about Vision, she's just a year behind the normally 7th grade curriculum. Willard, however, is in 4th grade and I was plenty worried. Balancing the worry was the horrible thought that he'd miss Mrs. Frizzle's last go-round through science since her youngest is in this class. If he can't keep up with this class, I'll have to teach it later. I'm really not sure who would hate that most, he or me? The Friz says he'll be fine after day one and here's my Willard quote for the day:

After a classmate, while reading a blurb describing an ostrich egg, accidentally gave it's length as 50 kilometers instead of 50 centimeters:
Willard: Whoa. That's huge. It's, like, Ostrazilla.

Willard also scored 3 touchdowns in the scrimmage tonight. He would've let the other kids score, but when they didn't, he just did it himself.

2003-08-31T19:42:00.000-07:00

The PeePee Dress

I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was going to come up. Yes, I tried to dodge it in my dress-up commentary, but my sister immediately jumped on it with both feet. Sadly, I must introduce the peepee dress. I have a dark, smelly past. I'd hoped to avoid the stinky details, but was called to task and now must give a full accounting of myself. Brace yourselves, dear readers, it's an olfactory nightmare.

We had a box in MaMa's closet where we kept all our dress-up outfits and matching shoes. It included all manner of discarded dresses and slips. In a moment of excitement one day when I was very, very young, probably at Snicker time, I had a little "accident" in the button-front, brown plaid dress with accessorized, matching belt. Now those of you without sin cast the first stone, but in a moment of panic I stuffed it to the bottom of the box and remembered to forget the damp details.

My sister, having no idea this particular dress was questionable, wore it on several occasions after the bladder emergency incident. I never said a word. Hey, she was three years younger than I, irritating to the oldest sister in only the way a younger sister can be, and frankly, it got pretty funny. Feel free to throw rocks at will.

In my defense I must state that my sister only wore the peepee dress occasionally, preferring the white slip and turquoise heels, because MaMa had a killer turquoise necklace. Also, the red things were mine! My sister is the best dresser of the two of us to this day. In the win, show, or place category, I've been an also ran for my entire life. Sorry, that makes it even more hysterical!

She might look exceptional now, and she certainly does, but there was a time..........

2003-08-31T18:27:00.000-07:00

Truly Blessed

After writing this story about MaMa, I realized that I could write a similar tribute to every single one of my grandparents. Though they were all very different, they were all wonderful and unique in their own ways. I thought about doing this one because I was already working on two separate pieces about my parents.

I was thinking about the book, "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood". The movie, to a large extent, made light of the subject matter in the book. If you've read the book, Vivi's childhood was traumatic and finally abusive. She marries, has kids, has problems, and finally has a nervous breakdown. The fascinating thing wasn't that she had a nervous breakdown, because she was certainly entitled to one. What's awe inspiring to me is that MaMa's childhood was just as bad, or worse, yet she didn't have a nervous breakdown.

I'd intended for Mom to print out my tribute and take it to MaMa on her birthday, so I didn't want it to be depressing for her to read. Since MaMa always reads the newspaper, Mom had a great idea and thought it would be fun to get the story published with MaMa's picture and surprise her when she opens the paper on Tuesday morning. Mom's now contacted all the family so they can place a small ad telling MaMa happy birthday. On Tuesday morning she will have a birthday greeting from her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren on every page of the paper. Is my family the absolute best, or what?

The fact is, I completely glossed over the stories that she actually did tell us. When her mother was having a spell, she was sometimes dangerous. She couldn't be left alone, probably for the sake of the children. She almost killed my aunt during one of her spells, because she held a rag of alcohol over my aunt's mouth during an asthma attack thinking it would help.

But MaMa's father had to work or they couldn't eat. So when she had a spell, out of necessity, he'd tie her to the bed or the plow so she wouldn't hurt herself or the kids. On top of the crushing responsibility of taking care of her siblings and running a house at such an incredibly young age, MaMa had to deal with that. If that doesn't give one pause, think about this. This is one of the childhood anecdotes that wasn't "too bad to tell".

In my opinion, her mother-in-law was down right evil. She was the bitter old woman MaMa never became. When MaMa was pregnant with her first child, she made blankets, clothes, and such for the new baby. A month or so before the baby was born, PaPa's sister had a baby and the mother-in-law took MaMa's baby things and gave them to her own daughter. She bought presents for the children that looked like PaPa, but none for those who resembled MaMa.

After moving to Texas, MaMa then went on to an exciting life raising children smack dab in the middle of the Great Depression. PaPa, desperately trying to feed everyone, worked as a day laborer. One day he went to town to find work and never came home. For weeks MaMa believed that he'd run away from his family and there she sat, in the grain silo, with now 2 or 3 small children. As it turned out, he'd been offered a job, but he had to leave that minute to take it, so he wasn't able to go back home and tell her. After he'd worked several weeks, he returned home with cash in his pocket, but concerned, needless to say.

I could literally sit here all night long and recount horrific events from MaMa's life. The point is she is amazing and rather than have a breakdown, she just lived, and continues to live, an exemplary life.

I also know why she made it. Back to the "Ya-Ya Sisterhood", they had awesome friends, but they didn't have God. God makes all the difference. I know that because way too many things in the book hit close to home for me. I cried throughout that book, not because I could relate to the bad home life memories, but because I could relate to the other traumas that Vivi went through. Without God, there is no way I would have made it.

Mom thought I should play down the stuff about MaMa's mother's spells and the detail, because it would embarrass MaMa. I agreed and took it out, but it reduces who she is and what she became despite all of it.

2003-08-31T18:15:00.000-07:00

More Comments

Due to the avalanche of email (2) from Motherofeverythingbutthekitchensink and Gran, I've found another comment feature. Since I've slaved over this comment dilemma for at least 15 minutes, I expect a comment on every single post.

2003-08-30T13:16:00.000-07:00

A Tribute To My Amazing MaMa

MaMa will be 94 on September 1st. Labor Day seems like the perfect day for her birth, because that amazing woman has labored for most of her 94 years.

MaMa was born the oldest girl in a family that would grow to 9 children. Her mother was very often sick and by the time MaMa was 5 years old she was standing on a box in the kitchen cooking, washing dishes, running the household each time her mother had one of her "spells". Back then, of course, little or nothing was known about mental illness, so the family coped as best they could. As the oldest daughter, a very large part of the working burden fell on MaMa and during those days that burden was an enormous one.

MaMa hasn't ever talked at length to me about her childhood, but I once heard her say, "Some stories are just too bad to tell." Her sister agreed. What a tragic statement. My PaPa spotted her at church, asked to walk her home, and later walked her down the aisle as his new bride. Years later when visiting the places they'd grown up, one of the locals remarked that MaMa had been the prettiest girl in the whole county. Apparently, PaPa agreed.

As a newly married bride, she moved into her mother-in-law's house with PaPa. Her mother-in-law didn't like her. On the day after the wedding, her mother-in-law woke her up and told her to cook breakfast for all the family! Papa's brother was living in Texas and promised him a job and a house, so PaPa and MaMa decided to seek their fortunes in Texas. It was 1929. They headed south with a tiny baby, in a car with no top, and it started snowing on the way. When they arrived in Texas, there was no house or job and PaPa had to scramble to find work. MaMa made a home for them in a barn and even a grain silo as PaPa struggled to feed his family.

MaMa had a spotless house and she maintained it herself until she was 92 years old. Every time we visited I felt like a slob. My house has never been as clean as MaMa's and here she was, 92 years old, still doing a better job than me. MaMa and I both have 5 kids, but she had to raise hers without a washing machine, a dishwasher, or a microwave. If I whine about anything, she's always quick to point out that at least I 'm not doing laundry with a washboard.

As she is a wonderful cook, I had my taste buds spoiled plenty growing up. Family gatherings were a cornucopia of mouth-watering food. Since we lived in the same town, many Fridays found us all at her house for lunch eating okra, fresh tomatoes, fried peach pies, ham and beans, or fried chicken. One of my earliest memories is sitting at her kitchen table eating macaroni and cheese.

We had to eat lunch at straight up noon because "As the World Turns" was on at 12:30 and if the music came on before the kitchen was cleaned, she'd start yanking dishes off the table letting us know that "the world was turning!" When I was newly married, my cousin and I worked at the same place, and we'd sometimes have a quick lunch and stop by my cousin's house to catch "the world turning" before returning to work.

Every afternoon we'd have a snack at the table and my favorite was a Coke and a frozen Snicker. The last time I was at her house I opened the freezer door and sure enough, there were the Snickers.

She had a picture of Jesus holding a globe on the wall.
She'd point to it and sing "He's Got The Whole World In His Hands" when she rocked me. She had the picture framed and matted and gave it to me when my first child was born. I rocked my kids to sleep with the same song. To give an idea of how much work she always did, she also sang "Bringing In The Sheaves", but I thought she was singing "Bringing In The Sheets". I tried for years to figure out why she'd be rejoicing over bringing in sheets.

Once when I was whining about something she asked me if I wanted a sugar-tit. I had no idea what she was talking about and she explained that it was what they'd used to hush fussy babies before the invention of the pacifier. I wanted one and she went right into the kitchen and made it for me. I sucked on it all afternoon while watching T.V. She has a very dry sense of humor, needless to say.

She always allowed us to play dress up at her house and she had a wonderful collection of colorful slips, awesome rhinestone earrings, broaches, necklaces, and high heel shoes even in red and turquoise. I spent half my time at her house sashaying around in a red slip, red high heels, and her ruby rhinestone set. I got my love of jewelry and the color red from MaMa.

One of the remarkable things about MaMa is her strength. Even in her 80's she walked to stay healthy and she'd go out and visit "the elderly" from her church. I'll bet most, if not all of them, were younger that she was, but she never seemed elderly to us because she didn't act elderly. One day she put on a brown dress, a color she rarely wore, and PaPa said, "That makes you look like a 70 year old woman!" (She was in her 80's at the time.) MaMa said, "Thanks, I'll wear it more often."

Many people say that we don't have heroes anymore , but I always did because I had MaMa. She had a difficult childhood that many people don't recover from today. She lived through the depression and hardship that I cannot even imagine during part of her married life. She didn't just survive or become bitter. She'd just always say, "I wish I'd been born a man." She rose above her circumstances and created a beautiful, warm, loving home for 5 children and later 12 grandchildren. She did it with style and a wonderful sense of humor. She made my life all the more rich and joyous for her presence in it. Even today, I stand in awe of her. I have been truly blessed simply because I have the privilege of knowing her.

Happy Birthday, MaMa. I love you very much.

2003-08-30T11:32:00.000-07:00

The Weekend

There will be little or nothing here this weekend. Being the incredibly organized person that I am, I have no lesson plans for the school year and school starts Tuesday. This year everyone is going to be studying American History up to the Civil War. Since I've already taught this twice, it's only a matter of pulling out the materials and putting them in order on the shelves. Still, it will take some time.

Thankfully, everyone is old enough to join science classes with my best friend, Mrs. Frizzle. Hooray! Science is definitely the "go ask your father" subject here at the guillotine.

Have a great weekend.

2003-08-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

Comments

The comments feature is gone. The only people who comment either email me or talk to me quite often anyway. The people who run the comments feature have changed their policies and in order to keep the comments I'll have to pay for the privilege. I'd rather not, so if you have any comments, shoot me an email!

2003-08-29T07:46:00.000-07:00

Humor For Friday

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings. (via Gran)

2003-08-28T19:28:00.000-07:00

Daily Rant

Veritas had to go "get beautiful" so after a few comments here and some thrilling cleaning, we ran off to get her coifed courtesy of the lovely Amber. For some reason the topic of pets keeps coming up in my life and we discussed her Iguana and it's untimely demise via her ex-boyfriend. I told her she'd made the right choice in losing him. If a man can't keep it together with a reptile, letting him watch a child or father one seems incredibly dubious.

Mr. G suggested that I let everyone know the children's ages since it's relevant to the commentary so here's the batting lineup at the guillotine:

Valentine:19, college sophomore, pet fanatic, drools over cowboys, went to a college where she could meet and marry one, dry sense of humor, incredibly hard worker, insists she's my favorite child, fair shot. Quote: "Every cowgirl needs a cowboy, someone has to clean the stalls! :D"
Viagra:18, college freshman, sports nut, slob, know-it-all, ironically also a dumb blonde, fond of throwing hands in air while saying "WHAT??", went to college here to try out for the baseball team, blew it for above reasons, tough as nails, babies love him, good shot, and the best babysitter of the group. Quote: (age 7) "Did I nurse when I was a baby? I bet I liked it!"
Veritas:14, brainiac, intense, high-tempered, selfless volunteer, in-demand babysitter, only child so far that loves history and science equally well, can read blogs because she gets all the jokes, might be the next Annie Oakley. Quote:(age 3) "I don't know if this is cute enough for me to wear."
Vision:11, clumsy like her dear mother, slob, memory like an elephant, artsy, loves babies and animals, clingy and dramatic, fierce defender of what's right, always has a hug on standby, plays with dolls while we shoot. Quote: "Well, at least I'm not ugly."
Willard: 9, loud, hilarious, dancing queen, last hope for the perfect child, leader, Mr. Popularity, fishin' fool, if his brother does it it's golden, can knock paper cup over with BB gun. Quote:(age 4) "Viagra's teaching vacation bible school this week. He's the impossible Paul."

That's the lineup, sports fans. Keep the scorecard handy as a reference in the event that confusion breaks up the play-by-play.

2003-08-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

Ten Commandments

John Derbyshire wrote an article for National Review a few days ago that I enjoyed. I completely understand his confusion:

You have to excuse me. I'm a new American, not yet quite up to speed on national attitudes and approaches to things like, oh, Constitutional jurisprudence. Any time one of these church-state controversies blows up, I read the arguments pro and con, scratch my head a bit, then pull out my handy Cato Institute pocket edition of the U.S. Constitution, and try to figure out what all the fuss is about.

and I also agree 100% with his conclusion:

What is really going on down in Montgomery is, of course, another battle in the bitter, hate-filled (never thought I'd find use for a lefty phrase like that - watch out for "mean-spirited") war against Christianity. One of the principal features of American life, which jumped out at me at once when I came to live here, and which I have observed with fascination ever since, is the seething, foam-flecked detestation that large sections of U.S. society feel towards Christians and their faith.

An interesting take from the outside looking in on the whole business. There are those who will not be content until Christianity is illegal or banished to a dark closet in the basement. While I don't think this whole flap is a worthwhile hill to die on, I do believe that the folks who brought this suit really do need to get over themselves and find a hobby. They obviously have way too much time on their hands. Or as Derb says:

There is no Constitutional right to be preserved from offense, even when passing through a government building.

2003-08-28T07:30:00.000-07:00

Lies

The Washington Post has a story on Al Franken's new book and Fox's lawsuit over it's title called Throwing Punches and Punch Lines . Compare it to the slanted article they published on Ann Coulter. Franken's assertion that the media isn't liberal is as silly as the rest of his comments. Hey, at least he's still funny. This is hilarious:

"Lies" contains lots of citations and statistics because Franken, during a fellowship this year at Harvard's Shorenstein press center, was given 14 research assistants to help him scour the media archives.

Let me see if I understand this. Franken, with the kind donation of 14 research assistants from Harvard's press center, explains to America that there isn't a liberal bias in the press. An then there is this bit:

The book's tone careens between serious analysis and playground taunts (chapters include "Ann Coulter: Nutcase" and "I Bitch-Slap Bernie Goldberg").

In the not-at-all-no-way-liberal press, one must guess which of these two chapters would be classified as serious analysis. Did Al really try to beat up Bernie Goldberg? I wouldn't have to ask but:

He once called up National Review Editor Rich Lowry and challenged him to a fight in a parking garage. Lowry declined.

Lowry had the last laugh, so read the article. Note to Al: That line where people cease to laugh with you and begin to laugh at you- wrong side.

2003-08-27T18:05:00.000-07:00

Wacky Ads

I've been noticing the ads that Google decides to match with my site each day. They obviously have some content search that deems one ad would be better than another for the site, and poof, it shows up. Many pay a fee each month so they can get rid of the ads, but I can't imagine why when they are such fun. The week I wrote about my vacation, the ads were about traffic signs and road signs of America. The content search has to be computer driven because every time I've written something awful on a topic there is the matching topical ad, but it's a total flyby for the computer.

Mostly, the ads have been about Iraq, but since I posted regarding Pocket's mental problems, the ads lead to marriage counseling and recovering from mental illness. For a mouse! I'll never get rid of these ads. What a hoot.

Update:Oh look, now I have dating tips ads.

2003-08-27T14:23:00.000-07:00

Quiz for the Day

Wow, I sound like a total sap.

Protector: You are the rock, the keystone of your friends and family. They look to you for support and leadership. You don't push for devotion or attention, but when the situation is dire, even the Idols and Exhibitionists will turn to you. You are the trusted, the loved. You have the capacity to love more deeply than any other type, and are fiercely devoted to your friends and lovers. Highly idealistic, you would sacrifice everything for a person or cause you believe in. But your trust so deeply and compassionately that a betrayal could shatter you. Jealousy is your downfall, and sometimes you need to give people more space and not become so enamored. Be careful who you place your trust in, for a Protector's broken heart will never fully heal. The world needs more of you but you are few. And sometimes it seems like you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Take the ULTIMATE personality test and let me know the results!

2003-08-27T13:37:00.000-07:00

Laugh Out Loud

Amish Tech Support has a great spoof on what a Palestinian Airline preflight speech would sound like:Hijack Your Own Airline.

Welcome aboard palestinian Airlines flight 3 from our brutally oppressed and occupied territory that will one day be drenched with the blood of Jews and paved with their crushed skulls to Abdul Aziz Airport in Jeddah, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

Must read for those with my sick sense of humor.

2003-08-27T11:36:00.000-07:00

Jane Galt at Asymmetrical Information points out one of the reasons the Dems continue to have problems:

"The Democrats, on the other hand, are a veritable festival of interest groups: unions, teachers, minorities, feminists, gay groups, environmentalists, etc. Each of these groups has a litmus test without which they will not ratify a candidate: unfettered support for abortion, against vouchers, against ANWAR drilling, whatever. A lot of groups means a lot of litmus tests, because with the possible exception of the teachers, no one group is powerful enough to swing an election by themselves."

And how the problems are getting worse:

But the larger problem is that those interest groups are increasingly coming into conflict. African-americans want vouchers, but the more powerful teacher's union says no. Latinos trend strongly pro-life, but don't let NARAL catch them at it. Environmentalists want stricter standards that cost union members jobs. The more interest groups under the tent, the looser the grip the party has on any one group. And as social security and medicare turn into the sucking chest wound of the budget, the money for the programs that Democratic politicians have traditionally used to cement those interest groups to them is disappearing.

Interesting points.

2003-08-27T09:00:00.000-07:00

FYI

I like to link to things that I find interesting, thought-provoking, humorous, or even outrageous. However, many of the sites I enjoy are adult sites and would receive an "R" rating from the motion picture industry. I've been living in an "R" rated world since 4th grade, so I tend to just tune it out and read for content. Any kid my age or younger who went to public school has heard the f-word at least a gazillion times a year.

While I'll try to warn people when I'm linking to something with adult content, I'll probably forget as often as I remember. I realize that everyone has a different threshold for what is offensive and what is tolerable, so I'm just letting my readers know - click at your own risk.

2003-08-27T07:57:00.000-07:00

Links of the Day

I'm adding two new links today. The first is Alphecca, a site I'd not come across until Jeff, the site owner, kindly mentioned me on his blog. I was astonished because I had no idea anyone besides a few family members and one friend were even reading the site. I checked Jeff's site out and he has a feature called "Alphecca's Weekly check on the bias" which is excellent for anyone interested in 2nd amendment issues. He looks at guns in the news each week and reports on the media's coverage. Good stuff!

I'm also adding Michael Williams at Master of None. Michael describes his site as:

Religion, politics, technology and computers, movies, books, periodic complaints about my day-to-day life, and pointless stories about things that happen to me.

Obviously, this makes it hard to categorize, but I enjoy reading it. More good stuff!

2003-08-26T18:47:00.000-07:00

Troubling News From the Home Front

Willard is now on page 68 of his snake book and what I'd like to know is who came up with this whole "No Child Left Behind" idea anyway? In pet adoption matters, I feel that every child should be left behind because as sure as night follows day, the pets are on death row. It's all my fault, dear readers, because I'm the idiot who taught him to read and thus ushered in the era of "Reptile Reloaded: The Rise of the Scales."

None of the three younger children remember our first snake, BigO. Mr. G and Viagra found BigO in the middle of the road and like kids always do, they brought him home to show their mother. I was less than thrilled and not because I harbor a terror of snakes. I'm a seasoned snake handler since 4th grade science, back when science teachers had all manner of frightening things in their rooms, some of which we were encouraged to take out and handle personally. I loved the snakes. The first time I saw the new Zorro movie with the guy's head floating in a jar I was completely unmoved because my 4th grade science teacher had shelves upon shelves of random things that might have been alive floating in formaldehyde.

When I saw the snake, I just looked into the future and saw a dead snake. Let's face it, children are hell on pets. If PETA weren't busy chasing the Oscar Mayer Weiner Mobile through WalMart parking lots, they'd probably be picketing in my front yard. I shudder to think about the pet mortality rate here on Main Street. We've racked up a death count of 4 dogs, 3 fish, 3 birds, 1 guinea pig, 2 dozen grass snakes, and 1 dozen hermit crabs. Hannibal Lecter would hesitate to visit us.

But back to my point, BigO, named the way all pets of children get their monikers, was a Big Oooole Snake, hence, BigO. Mr. G and Viagra built BigO a wonderfully huge box with plexiglas front and screen top that covered the top of the 6' toy box. It was one day later that I realized why they have those signs at the zoo that say "Don't Tap On The Glass". With 3 small children tapping on the glass and BigO freaking out and attempting to attack the threat, BigO's entire time with us was spent with a bloody nose.

BigO had to eat, of course, and this led to another crisis because out there in the real world where Barney the Dinosaur holds no sway, snakes eat cute little mice. Hence the entrance of Pockets into our lives. For future reference, when buying "snake food", in the event that the snake is not hungry, one should not then bond with said food. The food being a cute little white mouse, the children immediately embraced the mouse, and gave him the playful name of Pockets because he'd hide in the children's shirt pockets. I didn't tell them it was an evasion technique aimed directly toward them, but Pockets was certainly a confused mouse and rightly so.

Everyday, we'd try to feed him to the snake. If the snake had no interest, we'd rescue him for the moment and play with him as if he were a cherished pet. Mark down an additional mouse death for our family and a much needed interview with Oprah for Pockets.

The snake never ate Pockets. I believe Pockets died of a nervous breakdown.

After Pockets untimely demise, I insisted that BigO be released back into the wild. It made us all feel better, but I'm confident that another sadistic family with small children found him in the middle of the road and starved him to death after befriending his food.

Update:Gran was kind enough to remind me that we'd murdered a turtle. My how time flies when your children are wreaking havoc on pets. Chalk us up for 1 dead in the turtle column.

2003-08-26T14:44:00.000-07:00

Why Iraq is not like Vietnam

John Hughes has a good list of reasons:

The fact is there are many dissimilarities between Vietnam and Iraq.

The Vietnam war was fought in rice paddies and difficult jungle terrain. The continuing conflict in Iraq is confined mainly to the urban areas.

In Vietnam, the entire country was perilous for US forces. In Iraq, the opposition is confined to a relatively small geographic area. Much of the country is free of attacks against US and British forces.

In Vietnam, the US fielded a valiant, but conscript Army. In Iraq, the volunteer US forces are better trained and experienced, with a new generation of wonder weapons.

Good article. These last two points I've read about this week. The violence is contained to small areas. Equating every area in the country with the havoc in Baghdad is similiar to assuming the crime rate of New York City has major implications for my little Texas town. Also, as Con made clear in the comments section, there is a major difference between a conscript army and a volunteer force.

2003-08-26T13:12:00.000-07:00

Bad Hair Day

Gran, take note and arm yourself accordingly. Woman stabbed her hairdresser over cut :

"A WOMAN who nearly stabbed to death a hairdresser because she was upset with her hairstyle will spend at least a year behind bars.

Mother-of-four Fahria Ali Mohamud, 34, stabbed hairdresser Luul Jimale 14 times after Ms Jimale cut and dyed her hair in her salon in the Melbourne suburb of Heidelberg in June last year. "

Keep a close eye on those scissors and stay safe out there in the clip and snip trenches.

2003-08-26T13:06:00.000-07:00

Here's Your Sign

Wasp hater torches flats:

"A man who tried to fight bothersome wasps with insect spray and a cigarette lighter burned down his apartment and two neighbouring flats, Swiss police say. "

As they say, Oddly Enough!

2003-08-26T11:16:00.000-07:00

Problem of Troop Shortage Resolved

As usual, Scott Ott at ScrappleFace has scooped the media. This time it's furture troop deployment. U.S. to Send 22 Million Troops to Protect Iraq:

The United States will send 22 million troops to Iraq this year to ensure the safety of every Iraqi and every structure in the country.

Dubbed 'Operation Buddy System' by Pentagon planners, the idea is to pair each Iraqi citizen with a battlefield-equipped soldier or Marine.

It seems for some on the left, nothing else will suffice.

2003-08-26T08:40:00.000-07:00

Jack Kelly disagrees with those who are calling for more troops and argues just the opposite:

The low level conflict in Iraq doesn't need to be internationalized. It needs to be "Iraqized."

The Westmorelands in Congress and the news media, panicked because a UN mission which refused American protection got bombed, want to send more troops to Iraq. But more conventional troops would serve principally as targets.......

........Guerrilla wars are won not by having large numbers of troops, but by having the right kind of troops, and a strategy designed to win popular support. MacGregor noted that Sir Gerald Templer, the commander of British forces that defeated a communist insurgency in Malaya in the 1950s, actually sent troops home.

2003-08-26T08:22:00.000-07:00

Education

Michael Williams has a good article about education and what it can and cannot accomplish. Check it out.

2003-08-25T18:55:00.000-07:00

Moses and Aaron Involved in Frivolous Lawsuit

Once again, Donald Sensing has the great story of the day:

Some Egyptians in Switzerland are bringing a lawsuit against "all the Jews of the world" for taking gold, jewelry and other articles out of Egypt during the Exodus of the children of Israel out of Egypt under Moses' leadership.

You've got to read this to believe it. My favorite quote:

But fear not, the world-famous Ancient Royal Egyptian Police Corps (Pharaoh's Own) were on the job, says Hilmi,

"A police investigation revealed that Moses and Aaron, peace be upon them, understood that it was impossible to live in Egypt, despite its pleasures and even though the Egyptians included them in every activity, due to the Jews' perverse nature. . . .

Those crazy Egyptian cops, peace be upon them.

2003-08-25T12:48:00.000-07:00

War on Terror Update

Crafty British officials have devised a new way to weed out possible terrorists:

Six Brazilians have been turned away by immigration officials at Heathrow Airport after failing a quiz about the Beatles. The group said they were on their way to Liverpool's Mathew Street Festival this weekend, which celebrates the lives of the Fab Four.

Reports say immigration officials refused to let them into the UK when they failed to answer basic questions about the band.

One relates her horrifying interrogation:

She explained: "They played songs and asked us to name them. They actually made people sing Beatles songs.

I'm all for fighting terrorism, but making them sing Beatles songs may be stepping over the line into that murky area of karaoke brutality.

2003-08-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

I read an enlightening article entitled CHRISTAPALOOZA yesterday written by an atheist who went to a Creation '99 Weekend and was less than impressed with what he encountered, to say the least. One quote will suffice:

The catch phrase of Creation '99 was "Whoever takes the Son, takes it all." This aphorism states perfectly the overarching theme of the festival. Forget the stuff about camels squeezing through the eyes of needles and the difficulties of rich people getting past the pearly gates; access to heaven is on a strictly cash-and-carry basis these days. Beneath the broad tents set up throughout the grounds there were Christian entrepreneurs hawking all manner of Jesus gew-gaws: T-shirts, bumper stickers, glow-in-the-dark crucifixes, Bibles, interpretations of the Bible, compact discs, key chains, and jewelry.

I wasn't going to comment on it here until I came across this article in the Washington Post about a Polish man hawking the holocaust:

A Polish artist has sparked controversy in the Netherlands by selling "Auschwitz souvenirs" -- from crematorium fridge magnets to "Arbeit Macht Frei" key rings -- to remind people of the horrors of the Nazi death camp.

T-shirts with the menacing skull-and-crossbones symbol from the camp's electric fences and key rings bearing the camp gate's infamous German inscription "Arbeit Macht Frei" (Work Sets You Free) have been on sale at a Dutch art show since late July.

The sheer tackiness in both of these examples is simply breath-taking. If capitalism has a down side, this is it.

2003-08-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

Mundane, Yet Wacky Update

Valentine thanked me profusely this weekend for being a wonderful mother and for not "getting a boob job and divorcing Dad!". No problem. Huh?

Viagra was going to drop his English Lit. class in favor of Speech, but developed a burning passion for the literature of the Middle Ages, Renaissance, and Reformation when he walked into class this morning and discovered the vast majority of his classmates were "really hot girls". Pushing him all the way into the Lit. column was the fact that he'd already read half the books on the assignment list. Win! Win!

I finally had the graduation pictures developed and once again must sadly note that I am not the least bit photogenic. Quite the opposite. The only picture of Viagra and I that even approaches tolerable was taken late in the evening. We both look tired, sweaty, and slightly loopy. Viagra is holding a plastic punch cup and we look like nothing so much as a happily-dazed couple at a keg party.

Vision got her rat, er hamster Saturday evening. Willard wanted a snake, but Viagra saved the day (for now) by insisting that he buy a 115 page book on the care of snakes and read it cover to cover before he could be a qualified snake owner. The good news is he's only on page 28. The bad news is he's still reading.

2003-08-25T08:55:00.000-07:00

India Blasts Kill at Least 44, Wound 150

Car bombs exploded at a crowded jewelry market and a historic landmark in Bombay on Monday, killing at least 44 people, wounding 150 others and shaking buildings in India's financial capital....

......The explosions were aimed at targeting the economic activity of the city, as well as Bombay as a tourist destination," said Sushil Kumar Shinde, chief minister of Maharashtra, the state where Bombay is located.

Update:(via Donald Sensing) Wretchard over at Belmont Club has some thoughts on suicide bombers and their ultimate fate:

Is there nothing left but to surrender to the "ultimate asymmetric weapon", to bow before the invincible warriors armed with bombs and cameras? The Left has fielded that argument before. Finally unable justify Stalin, it attempted to portray a voluntary capitulation to tyranny as preferable to the annihilation that would attend defiance. "Better Red than dead," argued Bertrand Russell, and we meet the false dichotomy again in its modern form.

And:

The natural outcome of the kamikazes was the atomic bomb over Hiroshima. Nothing else would do.