Saturday, August 16, 2003

If Women Ruled The World

Mom sent me this via email and I wanted to post it, but had no clue how to do it. Cakes are also beyond my grasp. Now I've found decorating at the bowling alley. Plus Road Signs and women in Nascar. This tool kit is my personal favorite, but men may appreciate this one even more.

Thanks to The Braden Files for the pics.

Pentagon's Bluff Called?
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Moving to quash a political firestorm, the Pentagon on Thursday denied that it will cut the pay of nearly 160,000 U.S. troops in Iraq and Afghanistan by $225 on Sept. 30 when special military pay hikes approved by Congress are due to expire.

Defense officials said that even if lawmakers do not reinstate increases passed in April in both "imminent danger pay" and "family separation allowances," the Pentagon will make up the pay losses to troops in those countries in other ways.

Gray Davis in Trouble, Redux:

The poll also found Davis in deeper trouble. The beleaguered governor earned the dubious distinction of being the most unpopular governor in the 56-year history of the Field Poll, which put his approval rating at 22 percent, the lowest ever for Davis.
Guillotine suggested new campaign slogan: Almost as popular as Nixon!

Satan Welcomes Idi Amin Into Hell:

Former Ugandan President Idi Amin, one of Africa's bloodiest despots who was blamed for killing tens of thousands of his people, was buried at a small funeral in Saudi Arabia hours after his death on Saturday.
Hope he and Saddam's boys enjoy their stay.

Ann Coulter has some amusing commentary on the state that is California:

Strictly adhering to formula in California, as the private sector was bleeding jobs and money, Gov. Davis signed off on comically generous pensions for government workers. Government employees in the Golden State earn more than the private-sector workers who pay their salaries - and that's excluding the job security, health benefits and 90 percent pension plans that come with "Irish welfare," as government jobs used to be called.

Economists refer to this backward ratio between public and private-sector salaries as "France."

Live And In Concert

People watching is fascinating stuff. At the concert, there were couples with kids, elderly folks, and many Baby Boomers along with the swarming teenagers. I saw quite a few three generation groups of women too. (Can I go to the concert Mom? Only if you take your grandmother and me, dear.) I unintentionally bonded with the three teenaged girls sitting next to me. Perhaps it was because I let Valentine dress me up like Life-size Mommy Barbie.

I wore her black tank top and denim skirt, but Valentine decided that I needed to cowboy up, so she added a black western belt with Dolly Parton-worthy silver conchos. She then gifted me with a ring-of-flames toe ring for the occasion because when she saw it, it just "screamed" Mom. Huh? Caught up in gilding the lily, I added an anklet with tinkling bells, but fought her off over a silver necklace as I jingled out the door.

Maybe my seatmates thought I was closer to their peer-group than I actually was. Val had cleverly hidden the 40 year-old mother of five behind sleazy-young-thing camo. Okay, I say sleazy, but I mean close call with my Daddy sleazy, nothing approaching the giddy depths of sleazy that have been attained today.

Every teen girl there looked as if she shopped at Sluts-Are-Us. The belly hanging out from breast to hipbone having apparently become passé, the new look takes it a step further with micro shorts unbuttoned most of the way down to reveal colorful bikinis. My thoughts skittered back and forth from "Does your Daddy know you're in public like that?" appalled to "Just strip and get it over with already!" disgust. That's the only possible further step. Val's kids friends will attend concerts naked.

Even scarier were the women my age and older dressed the same way. My Aunt Judy's maxim "If you can't lose it, tan it" can't apply since there isn't enough sun in the solar system to disguise the fact that the tummy exceeded band width 20 years ago.

Modesty aside, these fashions look attractive only on those that have recently escaped from the anorexia ward at the local hospital. Parents may not mind that their teenager's clothes would make a hooker blush. They should at least have the compassion to point out that while they do sell bimbo wear in size 13, wearing it is wreaking havoc on the rest of the population's Feng Shui.

Back to my seatmate friends, after we'd discussed "so hot" Blake Shelton and pondered the truth depths of how Toby totally rocks, Mr. G and I roamed around people watching until Mr. So Hot Shelton came on. We returned to our seats as one of the girls glared backwards and spotting me, she leaned over to announce hotly, "I hope that old hag doesn't think we're going to sit down when Toby comes on. (expletives deleted) "

I looked over my shoulder and couldn't help but snicker. The woman on the receiving end of all this hostility was about my age, but with short hair and wearing her Mom uniform. I couldn't resist. I leaned over, the girls leaned in, and I huffed, "Dude! What a total loser. I'm standing up too!"

When Toby came on I leapt out of my seat right along with my new friends, winked at Mr. G, and started waving my arms in the air and screaming at the top of my lungs. I hung in there with them for about 20 minutes, but finally had to sneak off to laugh myself silly and get a beer, because being a groupie is thirsty work.

Imagine my shock when the lady selling drinks asked to see my I.D. What a great evening. I had a ball all evening long, didn't think a single serious thought, and there is someone out there who thought, just for a moment, that I might not be 21. I hear Alan Jackson is playing next month.

Friday, August 15, 2003

Misery Loves Company

Okay, just one more item. Iraqis Offer Tips Over U.S. Blackout
Some suggested the Americans ask the Iraqis how to get the power going again. "Let them take experts from Iraq," said Alaa Hussein, 32, waiting in a long line for gas because there was no electricity for the pumps. "Our experts have a lot of experience in these matters."

I'm not buying any of the official statements. If they haven't figured out what happened, how can they flatly state it wasn't terrorism?

Update: Scott Ott at ScrappleFace has the scoop on what happened.

Good to Go!

I'm off to the Toby Keith concert in Dallas. I'll leave ya'll with some lyrics from Toby Keith: Unleashed, my weekend theme-song.

Mother earth has changed since I was a child
The east is a beast and the west is really wild
And the headlines say that the end looks grim
And the future don’t look so bright

You can’t even open your mailbox, you can’t take a plane
And everybody’s lookin’ for somebody to blame
I think I’m gonna let the president
Save this ol’ world tonight

I’ll light us a fire
And she’ll turn off the news
We’ll open a cold one and shake these blues

It’s all good
It’s alright
I’m gonna sit here with my baby all night
And let the troubles of this world
Roll on by us like they should
It’s all cool
It’s OK
We’ve got everything going our way
Can’t complain if we’re alright
It’s all good

I’m just a regular Joe, with a beautiful girl
Just getting by in a day-to-day world
We ain’t got a lot, but we don’t need anything

Covered in kisses, surrounded by love
Showered with blessings from up above
When you’re sittin’ on top of the world, man we got everything

We live out here in the country
Where the workin’ class do
We’ve got our health and our happiness too

And it’s all good

10 Reasons for Blackouts

Seriously, InstaPundit has an over-load of information and first hand reports.

Thursday, August 14, 2003

I found something funny from IMAO. Go to Google, type in "french military victories" and hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. Good for a couple laughs!
Marine get new breasts on Pentagon tab:

"A U.S. marine is in the brig for using a Pentagon credit card to buy herself a car and a breast-lift, a report said Thursday."

I'm glad that our tax dollars are being put to good use!

Fantasy Football Update

What is happening to men? I have received a dozen emails over a rule change today and these guys sound like a bunch of bickering women from "The Music Man". Pick-a-little, Talk-a-little, Pick-Pick-Pick.......I've been asked to handle all correspondence and after today, I'm thinking not with these girls. First the note explaining the rule change and asking me to vote it up or down. Since I didn't even have a copy of the original rules, this seemed a bit precipitous, so I wrote "Ed" and pointed out that I had no idea what I was being asked to vote on. Could he please send me the rules first? Nope, but I did get a series of emails in the following sequence:

Some of you (the instigator of this vote!) have not sent me an email with your vote!

Can I have the vote count so far?


Pretty please?

I'll let you know when all the votes are in, just the way we do it in this country!!

Well as long as it's not just a power play....

You are really irritating me!! Care to step outside and finish.....

From Ed: I haven't received your vote yet and it IS only 2 weeks until the draft!!!

Me: Ed, thanks so much for the 4 thousand notes, none of which included the rules. Yes I am aware that draft is in 2 weeks, but having no inkling of the rules for this league, I can neither decide whether to concentrate the bulk of my pics in running backs or receivers nor can I give an opinion on your rule change. I can, however, weigh in immediately on your management style. Send me the rules or get on the bench.

Haven't heard back from Ed, but on a happy note, I haven't heard from the other ladies either.

Which TV Mom Are You?

Ewwwww! This is SO not fair. I'm

You are Rosanne Connor!
Rosanne Connor: You are Roseanne Connor from
Roseanne. You've probably got a sarcastic
streak, and you may take some pleasure in
embarrassing your brood. But ultimately, your
kids know that when they really, really, really
need to talk about something, you will
listen...eventually. Truth is, you tend to see
things from their points of view; you just
don't like to let them in on that until
necessary. That's your little secret. And while
it may not be your style (or fit your schedule)
to compulsively whip up a batch of chocolate
chip cookies, if your kids want to microwave
some popcorn and watch TV with you, there's
always room on the couch, and even on your lap

Which TV Mom are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Update: I knew these results had to be wrong, so I called Veritas in and said, "I took this quiz about "Which TV Mom Are You?" and I..............

Veritas: You're Rosanne, right?

Dang. Guess I better dig up the pizza guy's number.

Are We Eating With The Right People?

Jon Zens has an excellent article over at antithesis on the church:

We have missed the apostle's teaching in at least three critical ways. First, while Paul assumed that Christians would rub shoulders with unbelievers, much of the contemporary evangelical church functions on the assumption that believers should have nothing to do with outsiders.

This clearly, does not follow Jesus' example. Having come to seek and to save the lost, he purposely sought out those who were shunned by the religious leaders. Christ was severely criticized, but rightly perceived, as a "friend of sinners." I wonder how many Christians today would like it if people thought of them the same way. But no need to worry: we hardly ever deserve the title. Unlike Christ, we don't have the problem because we don't eat with the wrong people.
Good stuff!

Interesting article about "enemy combatant" status by John Whitehead:

A constitutional battle of landmark proportions is currently being waged over an American citizen who has been imprisoned for over a year now. His name is Jose Padilla.

A host of organizations worldwide have condemned the Padilla detention, including the American Bar Association and Amnesty International, which has condemned Padilla’s treatment as “an unprecedented suspension of fundamental rights of U.S. citizens in U.S. custody.”

Jose Padilla now sits alone in a military cell where he is not even allowed to see his family (a son in Chicago and his mother in Florida) or use the telephone. He has to be wondering whether he will ever see the light of day again. And although the Bush administration may have been correct in focusing on Padilla and having him confined, as an American citizen he not only deserves but is entitled to his day in court where he can stand against his accusers and present a case, if he has one.
Opinions? Today I feel strongly both ways.

Our Education Tax Dollars At Work:

In a year that ended with the University of Tennessee raising students' tuition 9%, former President John W. Shumaker had the university spend $7,000 in taxpayer money on a Persian rug, more than $12,000 per football game on entertaining and $19,746 to install a phone on the university's well-traveled plane.

Shumaker also had the university buy a $4,822 gas grill for his residence, spend $6,291 to move some of his belongings from an Arizona home he had sold and pay $80,000 for holiday parties.

I thought it was the rising cost of texbooks. Now they're writing faculty-frat parties right into the budget. Hope they didn't spill beer on the Persian rug.

Iraqi's Eyes Indicate Future Grenade Attacks

While this article does make some valid points, this paragraph is a stretch:

First, there's a word I've heard here that I did not hear on two previous visits since the war: "humiliation." This is an occupation. It may have come with the best of intentions, but nobody likes to be occupied. I just watched a scene at the checkpoint at the July 14 Bridge, which leads to the huge U.S. compound in the heart of Baghdad. U.S. soldiers kept telling Iraqi women - who were coming to work for the U.S. forces! - that they could not enter because no female U.S. soldiers were available to search them. It is 120 degrees here. To wait in line for 30 minutes and then be told you have to go across the city to a different gate produces humiliation and rage, and eventually grenades tossed at Americans. I saw it in the eyes of those Iraqi women and their husbands as they drove away.

I guess this means here in the US we are being occupied by the US Postal Service. Apparently Mr. Friedman is under the impression that waiting in line for 30 minutes and then being forced to move to another line equals grenades. The eyes tell all. Not only is the post office at risk, but what about those lines at the grocery store? Now instead of scanning National Enquirer headlines and flipping through TV Guide, we'll all have to be on the look-out for grenade wielding housewives with line-rage.

Here's the alternate scenerio. With no female soldiers available, U.S. soldiers pat-down the women anyway, and go after them with the wand just like Airport Security - right in front of their husbands. Sounds like a fabulous plan to cut down on the waiting time.

ScrappleFace: EPA Nominee Plans to 'Conquer and Dominate' Nature
Utah Gov. Michael O. Leavitt, President Bush's nominee for director of Environmental Protection (EPA), said he plans to drain and pave the nation's swamps, open all federal lands to vigorous strip mining and permit visitors to Yellowstone National Park to "harvest" one grizzly bear per day.

Now here's a nominee I could support.

Troops In Iraq Face Pay Cut

The Pentagon wants to cut the pay of its 148,000 U.S. troops in Iraq, who are already contending with guerrilla-style attacks, homesickness and 120- degree-plus heat.

Unless Congress and President Bush take quick action when Congress returns after Labor Day, the uniformed Americans in Iraq and the 9,000 in Afghanistan will lose a pay increase approved last April of $75 a month in "imminent danger pay" and $150 a month in "family separation allowances."

The Defense Department supports the cuts, saying its budget can't sustain the higher payments amid a host of other priorities. But the proposed cuts have stirred anger among military families and veterans' groups and even prompted an editorial attack in the Army Times, a weekly newspaper for military personnel and their families that is seldom so outspoken.

This is absolutely unbelievable! I watched cable news this morning while drinking my coffee and not a single channel reported on this. Outrageous.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

I'll Swanny!

Jesse Jackson has been reading my reactionary blog??

Democracy offends reactionaries. The majority of Americans oppose their extreme agenda, so they plot ways to subvert democratic elections.

Now these Jacobins of reaction have increasing control over the Republican Party. In the French Revolution, the extremist Jacobins espoused liberty and the rights of the people, but used the guillotine to silence the opposition. Today's reactionary Jacobins call themselves conservatives but would overturn democracy to suppress the opposition.

Off with their heads.

On a completely ridiculous note, Frank J. gives some tips for fighting terrorists on planes. My favorite:

* If the oxygen masks come down, make sure they are dispensing oxygen and not poison. The best way to do this is to use the lighter you took from the shoe bomber. If you apply fire to the mask and it immediately burst into flames, then yes, it was dispensing oxygen.

How Hostile Are You?

Go ahead, click the link and take The Hostility Questionnaire. According to this test, "any score higher than 10 may place you in the group whose hostility level is high enough to increase your risk of health problems." Oops. It appears I am a health risk, but I'd thought it was only to others. (via Jay Solo)

Dog Daze of Summer

Wondering what might happen in the California Recall Election? The suspense is over.

Now that the psychic dogs have spoken, it's safe to cancel the recall election. In an effort to save California $66 million (and put an end to all the whining about "democracy run amok"), we've decided to announce the outcome now.

We phoned Jacqueline Stallone, matriarch of the "Rocky" brain trust, and got the official forecast from her clairvoyant canines, Rachel, Hannah and Friday. As you might recall, in July 2000, the miniature pinschers astounded the political world by correctly predicting that George W. Bush would defeat Al Gore by a razor-thin margin of "a couple hundred votes.".........

When asked who'd win the recall:

"Arnold Schwarzenegger, by a major margin," said Mama Stallone, interpreting for the dogs, who speak no English. "If my dogs like him, he's in."

The GOP must be extremely relieved.

Eenie Meanie Minie Moe

Would you rather have this guy or this guy standing between you and the bad guys? And which of the two would hide behind you?

For those who don't mind a long read with a dozen links, there is a speculative roundup on Saudi Arabia that is very thought-provoking at Winds of Change.

Terrorists Strike Again
KANDAHAR, Afghanistan - A bomb ripped through a bus Wednesday in southern Afghanistan (news - web sites), killing 15 people, including six children. Officials blamed al-Qaida and remnants of the Taliban militia for the bombing, the deadliest in nearly a year.

On a happier note:
In Kabul on Wednesday, two university students and one was seriously wounded when a bomb they were making — apparently in preparation for a terrorist attack — went off by accident, police said.

From Russia With Love
A BRITISH arms dealer was seized by the FBI yesterday for plotting to help terrorists shoot down a US plane with a missile.

The man was arrested in America after an amazing sting involving MI5, MI6, US and Russian authorities.

The London-based dealer said he wanted to target George Bush’s presidential plane Air Force One, it was reported. The dealer shipped the sophisticated weapon from Russia to Baltimore — and believed he was selling it to a Muslim fanatic.

But his buyer was really an undercover FBI agent — and the arms dealer is heard on tape saying the missile was to be used to shoot down a jet.

It's Official, They Really Do Want To Kill Us.
Aug. 13 (Bloomberg) -- A biological or chemical attack carried out by terrorists is ``only a matter of time,'' said Dennis Richardson, the chief of Australia's security agency.

``There is a genuine concern that a catastrophic attack is certainly only a matter of time,'' said Richardson, the director- general of the Australian Security Intelligence Organization. It is unlikely any victory in the war against terrorism will be declared ``any time soon,'' he said.

Put Up or Shut Up

The sudden death of a beloved friend or family member is a tragic and life-changing event. It’s even worse if the death could have been prevented or seems to be nothing so much as a cruel cosmic roll of the dice. Existence for those left behind is forever altered when a mom or a husband is torn out of your life and there are those who never recover.

For those of us watching our televisions in shock on 9/11, that tragedy happened to thousands of people in mere minutes and it was horrifying. Examining it through the lens of individual personal loss, however, it is no more or less tragic than any other sudden, violent death. If my husband had been murdered at work on 9/11, my personal loss would not have been magnified had he been in the Twin Towers. He’d still be just as dead and I’d have five children to raise alone. People die violently every day in this country and it is not the government’s business to set aside a minimum of $250,000 for those left behind. That is the business of insurance and charities.

The government’s responsibility is bringing criminal scum to justice, whether they be local or international slime. In order to accomplish that, we need men and women who are willing to do that job and they need to be adequately compensated for putting their lives on the line for the rest of us. If they don’t get that job done, there are going to be more of us that don’t have to worry about our pension plans. How dare we, as a country, ask these brave men and women to risk their lives for us for this pittance? As the link from yesterday points out:

“If some of the military people stay in for 20 years and get out as an E-7, you may receive a pension of $1,000 per month, and the very people who placed you in harm's way receive a pension of $15,000 per month.”

The next time some gasbag politician blathers about his support of the troops, wrapping himself in the flag at re-election time, remember the above paragraph and recognize that both hypocritical parties allowed this to happen. When the aforementioned blowhard opens up his goody bag of promises, remember this. Dead people don’t need a prescription drug benefit and universal health care is irrelevant to murdered children. There are people who want to wipe us off the face of the earth and our national priorities need to reflect that because the clock is ticking. If we are serious about supporting our troops, we need to write our representatives and hold them accountable because our lives literally depend on it.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

Excuse Me?!?!

This infuriating info is grinding on my very last nerve:

If you lost a family member in the September 11 attack, you're going to get an average of $1,185,000. The range is a minimum guarantee of $250,000, all the way up to $4.7 million.

If you are a surviving family member of an American soldier killed in action, the first check you get is a $6,000 direct death benefit, half of which is taxable. Next, you get $1,750 for burial costs. If you are the surviving spouse, you get $833 a month until you remarry. And there's a payment of $211 per month for each child under 18. When the child hits 18, those
payments come to a screeching halt.

I can't stomach this. Tar and feathers coming tomorrow.

Daily Rant

Willard is the new QB for the 'Lil Titans. Control freak that he is, he was thrilled when the coach told him it was the quarterback's job to keep the line straightened out. He created a monster. No sooner than the words left the coach's mouth, Willard was barking instructions. Scoot up there Jimmy. Spread your legs a little more, Chris. I'm surprised he didn't try to call time out so he could run a couple of tackling drills. He surveyed the field like a general and slapped his hand up between the center's legs to start the count with enough force that the startled kid leapt 10 feet off the ground. I imagine they'll put up with him, though, because every pass he threw, he drilled the receiver in the sternum. After passing the ball off on a sweep right, he even t-boned a defending coach who made the mistake of going after the running back. I love that kid.

In other daily news, Dude, we got a Duck! Veritas' employer sent her home today with a duck. I know in the past we have been feted with the occasional ham, but this is our first experience with a fowl employee bonus. For those who may not be up to speed on Veritas' job, let me splain. She inherited this job from Valentine when Val went to college for one simple reason - no one in their right mind would work for the woman. The Cat Lady has seven show cats and due to arthritis cannot clean, vacuum, or poop scoop, so Veritas goes over twice a week and cleans the kitty palace.

Each cat has it's own room complete with daybed, tasteful Victorian duvet, toys, and private bath, er, box. The Cat Lady's even got an urn up on the fireplace mantle - complete with candid snapshot - which contains the ashes of her best friend, Sparky, a german shepard who slipped his mortal coil a tad early in 1983. We don't know much about Sparky because the whole episode is still, 20 years later, just too painful to talk about. Heaven help us if she decides to get the whole episode off her chest once and for all.

The first day on the job she introduced us to the cats. I don't mean to say she told us their names. When I say introduced I mean she said, "Alpha, this Valentine and her mother, Lana. Valentine is going to be cleaning your room since Edna quit after realizing I was a barking moonbat. (Pats bed) Come up here and meet her, sweetie." Seven times. Anyone who knows me knows that after that ordeal, Valentine bought me lunch and was darn happy to get off so lightly. My best friend's daughters, Aimee and Autumn, have been calling me Cruella DeVille for 10 years and I consider it a badge of honor.

Now that Veritas has manfully stepped in to fill the litter box, I'm the Cat Lady's best friend. When Val passed the poop scooper to Veritas, I was the only continuity in her life, so we were doomed to bond. Hence the duck thawing on my counter. At least I haven't been written into the will as Sparky's guardian. Yet.

Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are You? Yes, you may call me Yoda. There is no try. There only is do or do not. (via Donald Sensing)

The Truth Hurts
The Anti-Defamation League is the latest group to speak out against The Passion, Gibson's depiction of Jesus' crucifixion and events leading up to it, saying it was "dangerous".

In a statement, the group said the film showed Jewish authorities and the Jewish mob as being responsible for the decision to crucify Jesus.

In other news, disgruntled Germans protest "Schindler's List" for showing German authorities and German mobs as being responsible for the holocaust.

Stupid People Shouldn't Breed

I'm glad I missed this nut while on vacation. Jeff Peckman has asked the Denver City Council to vote in a Stress Reduction Plan.

City council members said Monday they were forced to put the question on November's ballot because resident Jeff Peckman collected 2,462 certified signatures, slightly over the required number.......

.......Peckman said the council members should favor his proposal because it supports their duty under the U.S. Constitution to provide for the common defense and ensure domestic tranquility.

The measure doesn't advise how the city should reduce stress but requires the city to research the idea and scientifically prove which methods work. Some of Peckman's ideas include playing soothing music in public places and improving the quality of school lunches.
All he is saying, Peckman said after the meeting, is "Give peace a chance."

At least the council has a good idea of how many certified idiots are running loose in the Denver area, 2,462. Here we'd all been under the misguided impression - unless we were running for Ms. America - that achieving world peace was either a complicated equation or a utopian fantasy. Thanks to Mr. Peckman for alerting us all to the real issue - wars are started because in 5th grade someone had to endure a cold pig-in-a-blanket at the local elementary school.

Monday, August 11, 2003

There's a blogger contest that I would like to enter, but I have to submit my best post. I'm not sure what that post would be, so I'm asking everyone reading this, both of you, to let me know which one was the funniest story. If none were all that humorous, say so. If you liked one I'll submit that.

Cowboys Update: We're Doomed

Look, the season hasn't even started and Giants’ Pro Bowl tight end Jeremy Shockey outs Parcells in the New York press.

Shockey’s chest swells. “Let’s see how much Parcells wins this year,” he spits. “I’ll make him pay when we play them. The homo.”
I'll just add him to my fantasy football picks for the season. According to this article he's the only rookie named to the 2002 Pro Bowl squad. The homo.

More Good News

After months of bitterness, the heads of the seven major tribes of Fallujah have met for the first time with the Iraqi town's mayor and its American forces commander.

Clan leaders and their hangers-on packed the mayor's office at the morning meeting, described by Lt-Col Chris Hickey, US army Fallujah commander, as "an extremely important day"..........

...... At a rowdy session, they agreed to work with American troops to stamp out the looting as well as the rocket and grenade attacks, that have made Fallujah a byword for instability and danger.
Obviously, our guys are paying attention and trying to learn as much as they can as quickly as they can.

Daily Rant

Last Tuesday while I was at the coast, one of my contacts was really bothering me so I was blinking and my eye was starting to twitch. It was so bad the two guys sitting at the table beside us thought I was winking at them and jumped up to introduce themselves when Mr. G went to the bathroom. So if anyone is headed to Rockport and would like the name of a man who can tattoo a dragon the size of an Apache helicopter in the middle of your back, I'm the girl to see. It'll run ya about $750 because as an artist, Dave only uses his designs once and then destroys them.

Back to my point, when I took the contact out that evening I noticed there was a piece missing. I called the eye doctor when I came home to get a replacement pair since I really didn't want to show up at the Toby Keith concert looking like Marion the Librarian. The receptionist explained to me in pained tones that my perscription was expired so they couldn't let me have any new contacts. I said, "You HAVE GOT to be kidding me!!"

Contacts are on the same level as antibiotics these days? The latest controlled substance. I suppose my first round of contacts should have cured my sight problem, but the doctor prescribed a second round just to make sure all traces of blindness had been eradicated. Perhaps I could even become addicted to the things and begin to crave my daily fix of clear-sightedness. I might become a vision fiend, caught up in myopic madness.

I was on the way out the door and I didn't have time for a verbal sparring match, so I said thanks so very much for nothing and hung up. I was so miffed my mood anklet turned black and stayed that way for over an hour which was really irritating because it didn't match my shorts. When I arrived home that evening, I had a message from the good doctor's wife to please call at my convienence. Maybe I'll get my loaner contact after all, but do you think they'll want a urine sample first?

On a happier note, the dishwasher died over the weekend. With 7 people eating 3 meals a day, this is the kind of emergency that ratchets up the Homeland Security Color Bar. Fortunately for me, this dishwasher has been such a pain I even bought an extended warranty, so I'm covered until 2006. It's been worked on often enough that when I called the appliance repair store, Betty said, "Hey Lana, I remember you! Your dishwasher isn't running again?" So nice to be popular around town.

Little Willard has his first football practice tonight. Not that he's excited or anything, but he strolled out of his room at 8 am with a football tucked under his arm wearing his under armour and football jersey. Go Titans!

If you get bored and haven't swatted any flies lately, here's your fix for the day.

Since we've had plenty of bad news lately, this letter from Iraq, found at InstaPundit, is welcome. Hey even the trains are running, but he didn't say if they were yet on time.

If you're interested in reading about the sad state of the French economy, Steven Den Beste at USS Clueless has the entire tale of woe. Amazingly, lack of American tourism is contributing to the fiscal slump. Whodathunkit? Don't miss the bit about the tourism campaign first begging everyone to smile!, and now the slogan, "Let's Fall In Love Again!". As Den Beste points out:

"Let's fall in love again" as a motto? It's like falling in love with a French hooker. Though you may be entranced by her beauty or charm or talent in the sack, all she cares about your money and how much of it she can pry out of you. You may enjoy it, but it has nothing to do with love.

New Action Figure Alert

Check out the new Elite Force G.I. George:
BBI proudly introduces the latest issue in its Elite Force series of authentic military 12- inch figures, President George W. Bush in naval aviator flight uniform.
If he every has grandkids this would be a fun birthday item. Can't you just see a couple of little boys fighting mock battles with grampa joe? "Bobby, retreat or I'll fly grampa over there to blow up your tanks!"

Victor Davis Hanson has a good article today discussing some Western attitudes about the war and why they not only get our soldiers killed, but could cause our society to implode. He neatly sums up our soldiers dilemma:

The burden of the modern Western soldier is not that he is too lethal - although he is surely that as well - but that he must be more than a soldier: he must be a humanitarian who seeks to rebuild almost immediately what he finds has been destroyed by his enemy. An American in Iraq must be as concerned to spackle the shattered plaster from his (or others') gun bursts as he is to pull the trigger in the first place. And that fact in and of itself - while it will never quite satisfy his elite Western censors - quite literally can get him killed.

In this regard, my favorite recent scene was in the neighborhood of the blasted death house. After explaining to Western journalists that they mysteriously knew nothing of either the Husseins' nearby presence or the Baathist sympathies of the sheik next door, residents complained of shattered windows and pockmarked walls from collateral fire - only to be assured that the U.S. government would quickly provide suitable compensation. And we will - with apologies added.

If one were to collate the recent news reports about the Mosul shootout, the lessons would be as follows: Read two mass killers their Miranda rights; duck their bullets when they shoot first; capture them alive; let Europeans cross-examine them in the Hague; lose no friendlies in the operation; do not disturb the residents next door; protect the Husseins' victims from such oppressors (but without cracking their plaster) - and in general remember that the entire scene will be filmed and then broadcast as Cops rather than as Hell is for Heroes.

New California Poll

In the survey of 801 California registered voters taken Thursday, Friday and Sunday, 64% - including 40% of Democrats - say Davis should be removed from office. Only 29% say he should serve the remaining 39 months of his second four-year term. If Californians reject Davis, he will become the first U.S. governor to be recalled since North Dakota's Lynn Frazier in 1921.

Schwarzenegger muscled into a big early lead on the motley list of candidates to step into Davis' job if he is recalled. A near-majority of the voters surveyed - 42% - say there's a very good or good chance they will go for the Hollywood leading man.

Heat Wave Continues in Europe

I've been wondering for the last several days why this hot weather is big news. After all, it's hot in Texas every summer. Now this reporter finally writes what I've been thinking:
Iraqis find the idea of Britons complaining about yesterday's heat hysterical. "What? It's only 37C and they think it's too hot?" laughed our translator, Haider. "That's spring weather." Locals at a restaurant hooted derisively when pictures of Londoners trying to stay cool came on the television.

Update: It's 106 in Crawford:

How hot was it at President Bush's ranch last week?

So hot that he momentarily slipped up and let it be known that the 106-degree temperatures were getting to him.
We've got to get in before we have a heat stroke," Mr. Bush told reporters at his ranch on Friday, trying to end an 18-minute news conference with his top military advisers under the blistering noon sun.

Then he corrected himself.

"Before you have a heat stroke," he told reporters, implying, once again, that he could take the heat even if all those squishy White House correspondents, who would rather be at Mr. Bush's parents' place in Maine, could not.
I'm positive the press hates Crawford and I think Bush decides to go on vacation when he's sick and tired of them.

Sunday, August 10, 2003

School Time, Golden Rule Time

It's almost school time. I know it's official, because my neighbor, who teaches, called today to say she had to be at school next week. She didn't call to fill me in on the school calender. She called for the same reason she calls every year. Her daughter would love to spend the week with us because she doesn't want to do the daycare thing, and since the bulk of my time must be spent eating bon-bons and wandering around the house in lounging pajamas, I have nothing better to do. As an added bonus, once again this year, I'm cost-free. Bon-bons aside, it's not a problem, I love her kid, and I always say yes because I remember sitting at the daycare fence wishing and willing my mother into the driveway. It was a very brief, but memorable time in my young life and I wouldn't wish it on man or beast.

I even made the mistake of doing it to my children for about six months. Then I saw the candid photo of Valentine at daycare that they sent home one day and it was a stake in my heart. Instant recognition. The look in her eyes screamed what I'd felt at that fence, and within three weeks my children were liberated forever from daycare and then later from school.

But I'm a bit sick of the assumption that because I don't have a "real job", I'm the go-to girl. I realize that behind my nasty exterior lurks a sucker for anything small or helpless, but it's irritating that other people are exploiting it. And I do have a "real job", thanks so very much. I have at least 3 "real jobs". I've homeschooled two children right into college and when they stop fooling around being too cute for words, they are impressive. Period. There are no words to encompass the research and work that entails. In the sucker deparment, I've even homeschooled some of my friend's children. I've got three more kiddos I'm working on and I can promise they'll be impressive in their own way. That is only one of the things I do.

I'm the resident tax expert for Mr. G's business, and I fill out forms on a weekly basis. I field calls, write letters, fax invoices, and run roof on the computer on a semi-daily basis in my "free" time. Since I "don't work", I do 100% of the cleaning, shopping, and laundry.

When the church needs someone to bake, serve, bring towels to the youth car wash, or man the Missionette flower booth, guess which "doesn't work" mother they call? As Mama would say, I always wished I was a man.

Anywhoo, I'm behind in the school planning department this year. I guess next week I'll research workbooks and fantasy football cause I need to keep all my balls in the air.

(This rant has been brought to you by Lana, but only if you have the misfortune of reading it. Please carry on with your daily tasks. I'll get over it in about 5 seconds.)

Bookworm Alert

The commentary will be a tad spotty today since I'm reading Robert B. Parker's latest novel. I love this guy. How many dectives use the word fop while tracking down ne'er-do-wells? Another fun term from the book: European American (meaning Honkie, of course). This European American is running along to finish the book.


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